And so he must learn. I mean, learn he must! Mmmm! Leader, all Giles-ian, is training him to fight. And, wearing a blindfold like we saw in the very quick shot in the first few opening scenes, Jake fights. He stabs a dummy, leaving his knife in the body, and says smugly, "Timmy won't be playing violin anytime soon." Leader shouts, "That is the most pathetic field kill I have ever seen. You will not leave your weapon in, on, or around the enemy. Do we understand each other!" And the answer is not a sheepish "yes ma'am," but Hoo-ah! Leader warns him not to go much farther than that in conversation with his fellow WolfPakians. Jake says he doesn't plan on opening up to "those psychopaths." They aren't crazy, says Leader, a little pissed off at him. They're a special ops team. They don't have to salute, wear their hair or uniform regulation, and don't have issues with "working in a morally gray area." Hey, me neither! I think I like the WolfPak thing, except for the Army part. It's kind of like being a recapper. Jake asks why Leader didn't join, and she explains that "they don't take women. The NSA does. So are you ready to do this?" Jake says, "Sure. I mean, hoo-ah." Leader says, "Hit me. Hit me!" Jake makes an attempt, and gets flipped on his back. He groans in pain. She says, "I hope you don't have any plans for the night."
Cut to an army base. Camo everywhere. Jake walks up in fatigues, his hair peeking out of a cute little army cap. Aww! So cute. On the scene, army guys scramble through an obstacle course as a man yells insults at them. Jake walk up and salutes the man screaming abuse, identifying himself as a sergeant and member of the WolfPak. The abuser pauses, looks unsettled, then says that they aren't the...those guys are the WolfPak. Jake looks in the direction the abuser has nodded in, and then the light gets all blown-out as a group of seriously scraggly guys walk towards him. They have jagged theme music, facial hair, cigars, hand grenades dangling from their belts and everything. Jake just about wets himself. What a savage-looking marching band. They even have matching brands of a wolf head! Aww. So cute, and scary at the same time. Jake gulps, then salutes what clearly is the leader, the head wolf, or WolfHed. WolfHed smiles and asks to see Jake's papers, then gives him what looks like a titty-twister so painful it knocks him to the ground. Jake winces and groans, and WolfHed explains that if Jake ever salutes him out in the open like that again, he'll off him. General Jump Street watches warily from a distance. "The pack is your mother, the pack is your father. From now on, anything you need, you'll get from us." Does Jake think he can handle that? The look in Jake's eyes is unlike anything I've seen all season. He's sure of himself, and he wants to prove WolfHed wrong. So wrong. All the way wrong, to jail wrong. Jake says quietly, "Hoo-ah." The Pak moves it on out, and one guy hangs back and says to Jake, "Welcome to hell!"













Comments