Jake 2.0

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: B | Grade It Now!

Hey, it's that guy! The cop-boss from 21 Jump Street! That guy is awesome. So stern and handsome. General Jump Street strides down a hall and asks some army grunt to show him exactly what's wrong with his precious weapons. The grunt explains that, on his watch, nothing has ever been tampered with or gone wrong or been busted into. General Jump Street is all, shut up and show me today what the hell the problem is. Grunt then sets the timer off to detonate the weapon. The digital display counts down from ten seconds. General Jump Street draws his weapon and demands that Grunt stop the countdown. Grunt asks that the general observe. Ten seconds tick by, then nothing. "Will you explain what just happened?" Grunt says, "It's a decoy, sir." General Jump Street lets this sink in and says, "Somebody just stole one of my nukes?" Sounds like a job for the geeky, newly-omnipotent secret weapon of America, wouldn't you say?

Credits. Jake's life just got reeeeal interesting.

Leader of the Pack and The Man walk and talk. The Man is complaining that Jake has "a serious discipline problem...apparently there's no 'we' in 'nanite.'" Heh. There is a "nit," though. Leader wonders if it's just a phase, then tells The Man there's someone he has to meet: General Jump Street. She and the General shake hands warmly, and he calls her "Tank Buster." Ooh, is "Tank" secret code for "ball"? That would be awesome. She and the General met in the Gulf War. She was lethal with a rocket launcher. General asks if she trusts The Man. She says sexily, "Hoo-ah." Dude, they are so flirting! For everyone that gets excited over that HoYay business, here is some HetYay to sit up and notice. I know, it's not the same thing, but it's pretty awesome. The General says he's "glad [she] traded in her Black Hawk for a desk job with the NSA," since one of his tactical mini-nukes has been stolen. He thinks it was an inside job, probably from the elite special black ops team, the WolfPak. The Man asks if he's alerted CID. General Jump Street laughs. "This job needs to be done covertly. I know how they think. I used to be a member of the WolfPak. Before I turned sane." Leader says she can do it, but she needs to put someone on the inside. General says her agent has to pass muster, since the WolfPak are strong and agile and ruthless and all that butch stuff. Leader says she thinks she's got his man. Then she looks at The Man and says slyly, "You did say he needed some discipline."

Cut to Jake hanging out in Dr. Thora's lab, snuffling around her snack hiding-hole for some chips. She chides him, saying, "Your body is a temple, even a nanite-enhanced one." Bummer. Jake leans in and asks Dr. Thora if he's one of those guys that doesn't take orders and acts like he thinks he's all that, minus the bag of chips at the moment. Dr. Thora looks away and very faintly squirms. Jake is all, no way! I'm so not feeling like I'm invincible right now! Dr. Thora says she's "glad [The Man] read [him] the riot act." Jake is all, "Why, because you like to see me humiliated?" Dr. Thora says no, because she likes to see him alive. You'd think that would shut Jake up, but instead he starts grabbing at his eyebrows, jacking them up all like The Man's are, and imitating his deep, mellifluous voice. "Jake's grand-standing! Jake's chewing gum! Jake's..." The Man and Leader are standing behind him, and finish his sentence. "...got a new mission. Get up to speed." They drop a file and walk out. Dr. Thora does not, but could, say, oh, snap! Busted! You in trouu-ble!

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Jake 2.0




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