Coalition Of The Willing

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Guns Are Easy

Dad talks to a bunch of Jerichoians, who think they could just surrender to New Bern. Their utopic reasoning is that when the federal government kicks in again, they'll get their farms back. Dad wonders what they do if the Feds don't come back. The farmer ignores this and says that, according to Gray, they are only three farms away from making the deal with New Bern. He adds that the town isn't prepared to fight. Dad leaps to his feet and jabs his finger at the farmer saying, "I will get us prepared -- you talk to those farmers, you don't let them give in!" "Who else you got willing to fight, Johnston? The cops? The rangers?" the farmer whines. The answer to his question comes in the form of Jake walking in with Jonah Prowse. Dad's face goes all, "DAGNABBIT!" Time passes, and Hawkins is pointing at the map, explaining where eleven potential mortar sites could be. Jake shows where the driver of the supply truck claimed the next attack would be positioned. Dad asks Stanley how the trucks were guarded. Jonah starts to supply an answer about men being hidden in the brush, but Dad interrupts to say he's not sure if he's taking Jonah's deal yet. "They have nearly thirty men guarding that mortar truck; I see nine here," Jonah scoffs. Jimmy walks up and reports that Gray has all the farms he needs, and he's going to call New Bern to make the deal. Dumb-ass. New Bern will not be happy with seven farms. They're invading and taking over everything no matter what. Dad realizes this as well and sighs, "I guess I'm about to make a deal with the devil." Jonah laughs: "You flatter me." Seriously, Jonah was just someone who got swallowed by a whale and then proceeded to have several of the worst days of his life. Dad orders Eric, Jimmy, and Stanley to do whatever it takes to keep Gray from making the deal. "Wait -- what do you mean, 'do whatever it takes?' What are you saying?" Jimmy bleats. "I'm saying it's time to pick a side," Dad thunders.

In the Town Hall basement, Gray broods. Bill catches sight of Eric and yaps, "Jimmy! Why'd you bring Eric in here?" Jimmy holds up his hand and gets him to back off. Eric and Stanley try to make Gray see reason, but Gray is too far in the miserable depths of guilt and self-pity to see anything but a white flag. Stanley gets his flunkies to escort Eric and Stanley out, but they fight back. Stanley bellows, "I almost gave my life for this town, Gray! You BETTER listen to me!" Then there's lots of screaming and pushing and something about Gray screaming with his eyes closed makes me giggle. Eric keeps yelling that it wasn't Gray's fault that the men died (except it was), and then everyone has their guns out and they're yelling and it's clear that the writers have watched Reservoir Dogs one too many times. Eric finally gets Gray to perk up when he screams that they have men out there. Gray orders everyone to put their guns down, and Eric explains that Jake, Hawkins, and Dad are in position to take out the mortars. He conveniently leaves out Jonah's involvement. Gray still isn't convinced. Recalling what happened that morning, Gray insists that they can't fight and says he's promised Connie that they won't retaliate. They just need time to put the deal together. After saying that they have maps of New Bern's movements and supply lines along with trucks, fuels, and guns, Eric is forced to tell Gray that Jonah and his thirty men are fighting with them. Gray thinks for a minute then says, hysterically, "Well, they could get us ALL killed!" Connie statics back in, asking for Gray. "Don't go near that radio, Gray," Eric warns. I was hoping Jimmy would just shoot the walkie-talkie at some point and announce proudly, "I'm picking a side!"

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