Flashing black SUVs squeal into town, and the Jerichoians gather to salivate over their first look at the Usurper President. George Newbern -- the actor with a convenient name who was the cute guy in Adventures In Babysitting and the groom in Father Of The Bride -- jumps out and shakes hands with everyone. He snaps a few photos with kids before smarming into the J&R edifice. Jake watches the Usurper President briefly, but sees Darcy slipping through the crowd. He follows her.

In Bailey's, Darcy shows Hawkins the purloined walkie-talkie, and Hawkins tells her to give him as much time as she can before she lets them find it. Darcy heads back to town. Coming up behind Hawkins, Jake grabs his arm and spins him around, demanding, "What's going on?" "I don't know what you mean," Hawkins frowns innocently. Jake says that he just saw Darcy take something from the Situation-mobile: "Now, what are you up to?" Before Hawkins can answer, an SS walks into the bar and yells, "Jake Green!" As soon as Jake turns, Hawkins does this awesomely smooth about-face and leaves the bar. He doesn't care what happens to Jake, he just needs to get out of there. Jake watches Hawkins leave and clenches his jaw before turning back to the SS, who is asking if took a secure walkie-talkie from the Situation-mobile. Jake didn't, but the SS pats him down anyway. Jake makes angry faces as he thinks about what Hawkins could be up to. The SS next turns his attention to Utley, who is sitting at the bar drinking (I KNEW IT!), saying, "Utley, on your feet -- you were in the office as well. Let's go!" Utley rises slowly and sardonically says, "I'll assume the position." Such a long-suffering intellectual giant he is. The SS looks over and sees Jake walking away. He pauses in his frisking and snaps, "Sir? Nobody told you to move!" The SS radios someone that "the sheriff and the reporter are clean."