Episode Report Card
Strega: F | Grade It Now!
Deathstalker And The Warriors From Hell

Back underneath the bridge, Hawkins reminds Good Cop not to cross the streams. Okay, wires. Spoil my fun. Then he tosses up a long length of wire to Jake, who's up on the bridge.

Jake is handing the wires to someone else when he notices Eric marching past. Eric says, "Dad wants this stopped." Jake says that Dad doesn't know all of the facts, but Eric says that it's still Dad's decision. Jake swats at Eric's arm, and I wish he'd stop batting at people like that. Or that someone would punch him when he does. As Eric gets into the truck he's borrowing, Jake asks what he's doing. "I'm putting an end to this," Eric grunts. Jake argues some more, but Eric just glares at him and drives off as the soundtrack shrieks with all the drama.

During the commercials, I tell Johanna that maybe Eric's going to go turn himself in to Ravenwood or something like that. Johanna says, "And then D.B. Sweeney could say, 'Hey, we've been looking for you. You left your wallet in Rogue River. Here you go.' And that would be the end of it." Then one of us adds that maybe they'd give him a ticket for driving around without his license. Johanna's definitely the one who suggests that it would wind up being a $5 fine. We also talk about how Eric should just go get Jonah. And then it would turn out that Jonah already knows Team Ravenwood, like he and D.B. Sweeney are old poker buddies or something. And Jonah could explain that the people of Jericho are insane and that it's best just to leave them alone. So that's why what winds up happening is so funny.

When we return, a flare goes up in the distance. Jake starts shouting that Team Ravenwood is coming. He is so panicky. Everyone scrambles around with cables and wires as Jake rushes up to tell Gray that Eric drove away. Gray responds by saying, "There's no time, Jake!" And then Jake looks astonished. I think maybe some dialogue about waiting for Eric to come back got cut. Although I probably shouldn't assume that, just because their conversation doesn't make sense, it wasn't scripted exactly this way. Jake tells Gray to get everyone clear of the bridge, exchanges a knowing nod with Hawkins, and then starts playing with the wires as everyone scampers off.

Bailey's. Heather and Mary are playing darts now. So they're drunk, and they're throwing pointy objects around. Well, at least there's a doctor right there. In fact, Kenchy is putting the moves on Emily, telling her his saga of woe. He'd just moved to the U.S. and opened a medical practice in Las Vegas when the bombs went off. He enthuses about Vegas, and then admits, "It's not quite so wonderful without water and electricity." Yeah, that would impede the wonderfulness a tad. Post-nuke, Kenchy "threw [himself] at the Red Cross to get out." And for his sins, they sent him to Kansas. Poor man. He says, "I really should be sitting by a pool, surrounded by women. Redheads, preferably." Johanna and I both say, "Hey!" Then he looks at Emily and says, "Blondes, too!" like she might have taken offense. When he pauses to sip his drink, Emily announces that she was supposed to get married today. She points over at a booth and says that she would have been right there, having a drink.

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