Semper Fidelis

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | Grade It Now!
The Few, The Proud, The Fake

Hawkins House. Using a dolly, Hawkins drags and bumps and bangs the bomb up the basement steps. Like, seriously? They were so careful about how they secured it in the truck with the seatbelts and top padding and now he's yanking on it, like it's just boxes of office paper from Scranton? Hawkins planned so far ahead -- what with the African tribal masks and the lacy black underwear -- that you'd think he'd have put in an elevator in there. Or a pulley system. Or one of those ramps that bars slide kegs down. Hawkins bumps the bomb into the middle of the living room. Sarah orders him to open it and then step back. Sarah pulls out a Geiger counter, and it clicks obligingly. Darcy can't believe that Hawkins has had that thing here all this time. "It's not armed and the lead blocks all radiation," Hawkins tells her. Darcy starts to say that she can't believe Hawkins brought it into their house, but he shushes her.

MIC can't believe that Maggie ratted them out to Jake. Maggie protests that he figured it out. They argue about what to do. Maggie insists that they aren't killers, and that they should just leave. MIC says that they can't get half a mile out of town and have the whole town after them; it will be Greenville all over again. "I was a PE teacher who saw too many movies, now I'm a Marine," says MIC. "I'm adapting." "No," Maggie responds. "It's him or us," MIC insists. "I vote for you," says Mayor Dad, cocking out a big ol' rifle. Gray cocks. Eric cocks. Some other dude cocks. They're surrounded. By cocks. "You know, ammunition being in such short supply, I doubt those weapons are even loaded." MIC asks if he wants to take that chance, but Gray has already lowered his gun. "I know damn well this one is," Mayor Dad says. Gray bats the gun out of MIC's hands and rifle-butts him to the floor, saying, "Sonuvabitch!" Mayor Dad yells at everyone to get their hands up, and Eric helps Jake to his feet. Mayor Dad hauls MIC to his feet and how-dares him for wearing a Marine uniform. "It's not a uniform, it's a costume -- half the towns we go through don't even fly the flag," MIC announces. So...that means...what? Eric wants to know if everything the Semper Faux told them about North Korea and Iran was a lie. He's told that some of it they heard, some of it they made up. Can't tell what's true or not. Well, start by telling us what you made up, dicks! Gray rumbles that they still have laws in Jericho -- funny, you weren't about the laws in Jericho when you were going to lynch Jonah Prowse without trial -- and tomorrow, he's going to let the town decide what to do with the Semper Faux. Yeah, mob mentality, good deal. Mayor Dad disagrees greatly and says that they have to give the town something to hope for. The Semper Faux and their tales of war and whatever is their "X factor": "People need faith just as much as they need food." Suddenly he's Adama and he knows the way to Earth. Gray mewls that he doesn't know what they do now. Mayor Dad unloads some cartridges, reloads the empty magazine into the gun, and announces, "Then we give a hero's exit, ooh-rah." That last bit was awesomely sarcastic.

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