Semper Fidelis

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | Grade It Now!
The Few, The Proud, The Fake

Hawkins House. I'm sad that Hawkins and Jake haven't been interacting of late. They are the team of awesomeness that made me call this show Jake And The Black Man. Instead of hearing the tanks or being aware of any such nonsense, such as street dancing, Hawkins packs. Sarah walks in from wherever she was -- taking a pee? Snapping more necks? Not seeing the tanks? -- and asks how the packing is going. "We'll be ready when we're ready," Darcy snaps. Sarah turns incredulously amused eyes at Hawkins and tells him that she'll get the rest of her things from downstairs. Allison sighingly asks how many more times they're going to have to move. Hawkins thinks this is the last time. "Really?" Allison snits deliciously, like the Hawkins-spawned teenager she is. "You're going to stay in one place from now on?" Hawkins doesn't have an answer to that.

In the town square where the ticker tape must be gearing up, MIC addresses Dad as "Sergeant Green -- Marine Corps?" Dad ducks his head, aw-shucksingly, and says, "Aw, hell no, Army Ranger." MIC jokes, "Well, I'll try not to hold that against you." MIC tells them that it could be weeks before the Army Corps of Engineers arrives, but in the meantime, they should be making wish lists of their needs. Gray stumbles over himself asking what he can do to help. Well, the Marines need a command post, so Gray gives them the Sheriff's office. Mary Bailey trips her way over, beaming like it's Fleet Week and her birthday rolled into one, and offers to take MIC's men over to her tavern. Where Miss Kitty will set them up with some nice hookers, I'm sure. MIC calls one of his men over and tells him to gather the troops and follow Mary back to her bar, where they can get drunk, as long as they conduct themselves like Marines. "Aye, sir!" says the kid. Dad sort of squints at this in the background. "Don't you 'sir' me, PFC! I work for a living -- DISMISSED!" "Aye-aye, Gunnery Sergeant!" says the kid, and leaves. By way of explanation, MIC explains to Dad that normally he would have had the PFC doing push-ups until he puked but, you know, nuclear holocaust and all. Dad understands. He asks if there's anything else they can do, and MIC summons a corporal to his side. She explains that they need parts for their radio. Jake offers to help. After he introduces himself as "Jake," the lance corporal returns with "Maggie." Maggie asks, "So you're the town's electronics expert?" "Naw, I'm not an expert at anything," says Jake, ducking his hooded head and huddling into his limp. "But I can improvise." Not an expert -- that Jake is such a cut-up!

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