Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B+ | Grade It Now!
Kraft Disservice

The shock subsided, everyone gets ready to hit da club. Deena: "Do I look embarrassing?" Pauly: "Only when you wake up." Snooki calls Vinny over to tell him that she wants to cuddle with him that night. She tries to pretend like she's cool if he brings home a girl, but clearly she's not. He even gives her the chance to forbid him from bringing home a girl that night, but it's probably just a reverse psychology ploy because he then suggests that she might want to bring home a guy herself. At any rate, I'm guessing that huge mug was full of vodka because Snooki is already well in the sauce. She interviews that she wants to try her luck again with Vinny and his Moby Dick. JWOWW and her breasts-to-the-ceiling (truly, they are higher this particular night than ever before) look at Snooki's bumbling maneuvering and just laugh. Pauly screams like a maniac at Deena for good measure. Because that's his entire function at this point. Yelling. And everyone takes a shot and toasts to Times Square on the way out the door.

Karma. The girls toast to their single status. Ronnie looks on anxiously from the side and swoops in the moment a guy talks to Sammi, to ask if she needs him to "save" her. She tells him everything's fine, so he tells her she looks beautiful and tries to grab her hand. She simultaneously recoils, rolls her eyes, and calls him out for sucking up to her. He braces himself for a night full of mutually passive-aggressive bullshit. She interviews that Ronnie deserves to suffer for at least a couple of hours for all he's put her through. It's game-playing, for sure, but kind of valid, no? I mean, I don't think any amount of suffering on Ronnie's part would actually justify her going back to him, but what can it hurt to string him on for a night or two just for kicks? If nothing else, do it for your glasses, Sammi!

Ronnie literally follows Sammi around like a lost puppy, which Snooki thinks makes him look like a douchebag. Sammi wonders what's up with him. Yes, Sammi. What is this treatment that is both respectful and attentive? Surely that can't be how a boyfriend behaves with the so-called love of his life? Ugh. He claims to be happy that she's back (despite bullshit, macho interviewing to the contrary). She asks if he's about to leave and essentially brushes him off by telling him to have fun. Ronnie finally takes the clue and goes home.

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Jersey Shore




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