Previously: Angelina carried on with her typically brazen tomfoolery, only with more Vinny spit-swapping. And we learned of the Communal Smush Room. Never forget!
Morning in Miami. Or maybe it's afternoon, considering these kids' average wake-up time. They're like clubs kids of the '90s, only with less costumery. Angelina hops out of Vinny's bed and straight onto the phone with his mom. Angelina and mamma Paula have a truly awkward conversation before she puts the phone down to get him. Angelina confesses she was drunk and regrets it. I suspect Vinny will hit up the computer immediately after he hangs up with his mother to Google tips on DIY memory erasure. As Angelina flits around the house, so does news of their one-night smush. Snooki deems Angelina a whore for stringing along her man Jose, who buys her presents, then hooking up with Vinny. Actually, Snickers, hooking up with the guy who buys her presents would be more of a whore thing to do. Semantics... The point remains the same: Angelina sucks.
While Vinny talks to his mother, the guys give Angelina Hell for being a two-faced hag who talks shit about Vinny, then hits that at the first chance. But Angelina is the Bobby Brown of the house -- it's her prerogative, and she do what she wanna do. Meanwhile, Vinny talks about how excited he is about his mother's arrival. Given the Italian banquet she prepared for the gang last season, I would be, too. Vinny says they don't make women like his mom anymore. Cut to a shot of Angelina, listening to The Situation philosophizing about "The Hot Equation," which is when women only like men who treat them like crap. As if on cue, Vinny enters the room. Pauly asks, "We heard you like to visit the Staten Island Dump [Vinny's nickname for Angelina] this time of year. Is that true?" Vinny says it is, and Angelina laughs along with them... at herself. For the love, she is worthless. The guys keep riding her about what a hypocritical whore she is for her indiscretion with Vinny, which Sitch notes was right before Jose's birthday. It's kind of ironic how intense their vitriol has become once she's screwed over someone outside the family given the shenanigans she's pulled to members of their very own house. And I could talk for days about the double standard at work here and what jackholes they are all being, but I kind of don't care, because Angelina deserves all the dressing-down she can get. I just wish it were for something more legitimate than this.