Jersey Shore
And the Wall Won

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
Buttheads and Head Butts

Reality starts to set in on Ronnie, who realizes that The Situation has gone to the hospital over their little dust-up. He says he can't believe he let the animosity between him and Sitch to get them to this point. And like a boy who just got caught breaking something, he starts to cry. Despite her histrionics about Sitch's exit in a stretcher, JWOWW actually justifies that the fight was long overdue. If that doesn't encapsulate how fucked up this whole scenario is, then I don't know what can. Every interaction between these people goes from "Let's rumble!" to "Oh no, we really just hurt someone/ourselves" to "I can't believe what horrible people we are" to "Well, (s)he kind of had it coming" within minutes. And no one ever learns anything.

As such, Vinny is outside with Snooki and Deena bonding over their disbelief of what went down. Snooki's all, "I used to get concussions all the time from cheerleading," and Vinny asks, "You sure you didn't get them when you were blacked-out drunk?" Snooki: "Well that happens, too." And they're laughing. Sitch isn't even out of the hospital. And they're laughing. Then again, that asshat managed to head butt himself, so they might have a point. The only person who appears to be stepping up in a serious way is Pauly, who travels to the hospital and stays with Sitch while he gets checked out.

Morning begins breaking as Ronnie concedes that he and Sam can't be together because "it's not healthy right now." Right now? When then? How could you ever imagine a time when your toxic nonsense won't be the very fuel propelling this train wreck of a relationship forward? He goes to her bedroom, where she's still sobbing about what happened. He admits that he owes everyone in the house an apology and invites her to talk to him when she's ready.

In the meanwhile, he goes out and makes his reparations. He first approaches Vinny, who tells Ronnie that he's a bear when he's drunk. He thinks they need to work on his temper together and, in an interview, pinpoints the problem to Ronnie being with Sammi. Sammi emerges from her room, and they sit down together. He apologizes very calmly and lays out the reasonable points why they can't be together. Sammi only looks away like a petulant child, then zeroes in on the stuff Ronnie said about calling other girls. As if she has any rights over him after they've been back together for, like, 12 hours. She demands to know a name. Ronnie will only admit that it's someone he knows from Long Island. For some reason unbeknownst to me, this is a damning fact. Sammi gives him the hand and curtly tells him, "Goodbye," then says she doesn't want to have anything to do with him ever again in her life. (Looks like she really stuck to her guns on that one...) He admits that he feels a bit of relief after blurting out about the other girls. Because that's how you should feel when you're finally being (spitefully) honest with the love of your life -- relieved.

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Jersey Shore




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