Jersey Shore
At the End of the Day

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Out with a Whimper

Previously: The Situation stirred up all sorts of trouble amidst SamRo 2.0.

We return to the scene of the grime, where Sammi's rumored hook-up Arvin is confirming that, at the very least, he's made out with Sammi a few times. Ronnie walks out proudly -- like this somehow validates him (when in fact, it's quite the opposite) -- to tell Sammi that Arvin is on the phone. She continues to insist that he's lying and that she's innocent. All the while, Sitch laughs at the drama he has created. Sammi gets on the phone and chews out Arvin for causing problems. Arvin insists he's telling the truth, and Sammi insists she's telling the truth. There's a lot of screaming, all of which is neither here nor there because who believes these disgusting people in the slightest?

More to the point, who thinks that Sammi and Ronnie should be together? Answer: No one. Despite the hubbub, it clearly becomes obvious that no one thinks Sammi and Ronnie should be together because they go about making dinner like nothing ever happened. Steaks are sizzled, peppers are sautéed, and life goes on at the Jersey Shore. Everyone cheers to their last nights at the shore and discusses the barbecue for Shore Store employees that their boss Danny is throwing.

While the others go about their business, Sammi follows Ronnie outside to clear the air. She finally admits that she did hook up with Arvin a full two or three years ago. He uses this as ammo to perpetuate their abusive relationship, insisting that she can show him that she's invested in this relationship more than she already has.

The next day, Ronnie continues to demonstrate what a dick he is by showing up to the Shore Store wearing a shirt of the competitor T-shirt shop on the boardwalk. He calls this "going out with a bang." He also considers sleeping on the job going out with a bang. He literally lies there, occasionally getting water poured on him by Danny, until the shift ends. Words cannot express...

That night, all the friends and family of the gang come in for one final hurrah. Highlights: Pauly's worm-dancing bodyguard Jerry, Vinny's ridiculous Uncle Nino, and JWOWW's strangely hippy dad. Also? Of course Snooki is sicced on a piñata.

As soon as Vinny immediately sets his sights on Deena's friend, Deena sets about cockblocking him because of her allegiance to Snooki. While Snooki insists she's okay with Vinny screwing around, Vinny thinks Deena is being disingenuous that she's one of the guys. Either way, ain't nobody happy.

Speaking of which, Sammi is still hung up on Sitch's interference. She calls him "somebody who loves trouble and drama." I think it's the clearest that Sammi has ever expressed herself. Regardless, Ronnie turns things on her, insisting that she was actually the one who wanted trouble and drama. Despite this being patently not true, Sammi is weak, and Ronnie is overbearing, and they go back to status quo.

The party ends, and the gang drunkenly heads home. Deena asks Pauly why Vinny is upset with her. Vinny chimes in that Deena "let [him] down," then he calls her Angelina. As we know, this is the ultimate insult at the Jersey Shore. Vinny interviews that, like Angelina, if Deena isn't having fun, ain't nobody having fun. Deena tells Vinny never to say such things to her again, then drags her friend out of the room, inadvertently proving Vinny's point. As if that weren't enough, her friend calls her out for being a cockblock once they get into the bedroom. Deena angrily marches back out to the common room to insist that she never blocked any cocks until now because it was her best friend. Perhaps it's an echo of the unfortunate Snooki-Ryder situation, or perhaps it's a reference to how shitty the guys in the house treat women. Either way, she tells Vinny to go fuck himself, which is pretty necessary if we're being honest. Of course, the guys (and Sammi, ugh) pawn it off to jealousy.

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Jersey Shore

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