Before da club, Snooki and JWOWW take a shot to bridge them from the dinner of nightmares to the night... well, probably also of nightmares. The gang convenes in the common room (not to be confused with the Communal Smush Room, though equally as dirty) to appraise their experience in Miami. Vinny suggests they put a bunch of superlatives in a bowl ("Most Likely to Succeed," for example). Pauly asks how to spell "likely." Oh dear... They determine that Snooki is the life of the party. Pauly, who nominates himself, is most likely to get skin cancer, edging out the competition because he has a home tanning bed. When the designation "Most Likely to Be a Follower" comes up, Sitch pipes up to nominate Vinny, basically implying that Vinny weaseled his way into his friendship with Pauly. Ronnie laughs that Sitch just made an ass of himself by admitting that he was robbed of his best friend. Plus "MP" and "PM" just don't have the same multifaceted ring as MVP, now do they? Vinny calls out Sitch for being a cock, and it devolves into a petty argument over whether spray tanning has a rightful place in GTL. These are the big issues, people.

JWOWW awesomely interrupts by telling Sitch, "You know who's the fakest one in the house, right?" She means him -- because he sucks in more ways than can be laid out here and because she doesn't think Vinny deserves to be ragged on -- but it's telling that Sammi shifts a little in her seat. JWOWW walks outside for a smoke and leaves her comment to hang in the air. Sitch wonders who has been talking smack about him, confessionalizing how typical it is for someone to come clean on the last day given the Survivor--like dynamics of this household. Of course, in his island universe, he thinks he's the head of the tribe. He rants on and on, asking who was talking about him and trying to get everyone to turn against JWOWW. Snooki finally asks him to change the subject. She confessionalizes that he's not as good a friend of her as he thinks he is, and she has no qualms about reporting every bit of trash he's talking about JWOWW right back to her. And all of this random conflict is all well and good, but where is it coming from? Why have we been watching a dozen episodes of SamRo 2.0's nonflicts and Angelina's feeble attempts at strategery when there was supposedly tension a-brewing between the A-players all along? Reach!