JWOWW awesomely interrupts by telling Sitch, "You know who's the fakest one in the house, right?" She means him -- because he sucks in more ways than can be laid out here and because she doesn't think Vinny deserves to be ragged on -- but it's telling that Sammi shifts a little in her seat. JWOWW walks outside for a smoke and leaves her comment to hang in the air. Sitch wonders who has been talking smack about him, confessionalizing how typical it is for someone to come clean on the last day given the Survivor--like dynamics of this household. Of course, in his island universe, he thinks he's the head of the tribe. He rants on and on, asking who was talking about him and trying to get everyone to turn against JWOWW. Snooki finally asks him to change the subject. She confessionalizes that he's not as good a friend of her as he thinks he is, and she has no qualms about reporting every bit of trash he's talking about JWOWW right back to her. And all of this random conflict is all well and good, but where is it coming from? Why have we been watching a dozen episodes of SamRo 2.0's nonflicts and Angelina's feeble attempts at strategery when there was supposedly tension a-brewing between the A-players all along? Reach!
A bit later, Snooki takes JWOWW outside and plants the seed in her head that everyone else agreed with Sitch that she (JWOWW) is the fakest in the house. Which, not exactly how it went down... Not speaking up and agreeing are two different things. But then again this is a world in which a girl can have literal cantaloupes shoved into her chest cavity and be offended by the notion that she's "fake." Context, is what I'm saying. Naturally, the two of them try to quell their frustrations by pouring a stiff drink. Always a great idea!
JWOWW decides to confront the issue in the most ass-backward by asking The Situation -- who, other than JWOWW herself, began this whole strain of conversation -- whether Pauly considers her fake. He's as useless as ever, and JWOWW's anger grows. Sitch immediately reports this to Pauly, who becomes immediately irate for an equally invalid reason as she is. They drunkenly yell at each other from opposite sides of the hot tub. Suddenly this ridiculous contrivance of an argument becomes about breaking up lifelong friendships (based on TV shows that have only been around for a year and change), and Pauly is screaming like a maniac. There is some hulk going on beneath that motorcycle-proof hair, y'all. Eventually it comes out that Snooki is worthless as a reporters and a gossipmonger and that Pauly does not take the besmirching of his reputation lightly. Then everything is right with the world. And yet still so wrong.