Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D | Grade It Now!
Breaking Plates & Broken Records

The next day, the girls head out for sushi. Sammi hopes to be distracted from Ronnie, but Angelina starts talking about the guys' club shenanigans the night before. Sammi questions that all the other guys were picking up girls and Ronnie was just sitting there. Instead of taking her cue, Angelina lies that Ronnie didn't do anything. JWOWW can't believe Angelina is holding back. Because she's totally upfront. And so the lunch passes with nary a truth told. They belch uncomfortable on their way home. I prefer to think it's from the pang of deception rather than the spicy mayo on the tuna roll.

Later that evening, Sitch hopes to cook a successful Sunday dinner for the whole gang. He says he needs to make this one happen because Snooki spoiled the last one when she dropped the chicken on the floor. So what does our beloved Situation do? He drops a big ol' bucket of marinara sauce on the floor. They forge bravely on, heating up a bottle of pre-made sauce. Snooki focuses her energies on opening a magnum of champagne, nearly taking Ronnie's eye out (so close!) when the cork explodes out of the bottle. Everyone who thinks the hijinks are over, step forward. Not so fast, dear reader! To top it all off, the refrigerator shelves then collapse in front of Sitch's own eyes! Making life function on even a mundane level really is a fool's errand for these people.

They finally sit down to eat, and Sitch off-handedly mentions how fun da club was the night before. Angelina tries to act like she's a member of the in crowd by laughing about some skeeze that Ronnie was macking. Of course, in doing this she blows Ronnie's game and reveals her lies to Sammi. Sammi slaps on a sour mug as they guys quickly change the subject.

After dinner, la famiglia plays a game of truth or truth, featuring a big bowl of questions that everyone must answer. Snooki adds that they decided to "put sexy clothes on and act like dumbasses," as if this is unusual behavior. Angelina's sexy dumbass outfit is nothing more than a camisole, which Pauly D quickly points out has an uncanny resemblance to a garbage bag. Man, I hope they never let that one go. Angelina needs these reminders. The game starts with the question "Who is the President of the IFF?" If you refer back to your meticulous notes, you'll realize that the IFF is the I'm Fucked Foundation, and Sitch appointed Ronnie the Prez. The guys fail at stifling their laughter, and it pretty much goes without saying that Sammi does not get the joke. The next question goes to Snooki: "Which two guys/girls would you have a threesome with?" Snickers taps JWOWW and Vinny. JWOWW opts for Snooki and Pauly. Ronnie says chooses Sammi and Vinny, then jokes that he'd be okay with just Vinny, too. And then it's time for the classier tier of questions. For Sammi: "Which guy in the house could take a dump on my chest?" Laughter all around.

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Jersey Shore




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