Jersey Shore
Ciao, Italia

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Same Shit, Different Country

They leave the hillside and head back home to primp for their last night out. They get to il club to find it's practically empty. This turns into a positive because they have the entire place to beat up the beat together... or whatever the frig Sitch is doing. And I was just talking about his dancing. Soon enough, he's starting a fight with some random guy who just wanted to buy Pauly a shot. Vinny thinks it was a cheap shot because the guy was a lot shorter than Sitch and calls him out. Sitch carries on with his douchery, and the housemates realize nothing has changed at all.

They head home where Deena packs and falls, falls and packs. At some point in the middle of the night, she and Snooki decide to put all the flora in the house on the kitchen. Why? Why not?!

The next morning, Snooki is as chipper as her high school cheerleading days as she wakes up all her roommates for the day on which they can return to Jersey at last. Sitch makes everyone breakfast, which they immediately recognize as a blatant manipulation. But also? Nom nom nom, bacon. He gets them drunk on plastic cup mimosas and scrambled eggs, then tells them he's had a change of heart and will be coming to Jersey after all. Surprise! He lifts his shirt up ceremoniously and says, "I always have something up my sleeve, and it's gonna be a Situation."

The kids toast to Jersey, then disperse to pack (which involves Snooki vacuuming her face) and VP making a suitcase luge out of bare mattresses. When Snooki and JWOWW try out the luge, it doesn't end so well as Snooki plummets face-first down the stairs. And Deena manages to fall even on this -- in which the entire point is falling -- thus doing something right and screwing it up all at the same time. As they head out the door, Sammi remains down on Sitch. She insists, "Something has to be done before it turns into something crazy." And what were the last three years? Did they mean nothing to you Sammi? I thought they were special. The Situation interviews that he has no problem being the villain and declares, "I'll take on the whole house. Say hello to the bad guy!"

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Jersey Shore

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