Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D | Grade It Now!
Five Minute Rule

That night, MVP hits up da club, where Vinny's girl Ramona works -- along with lots of other girls who are but a mere crotch shot in the eyes of the Jersey Shore film crew. Along the way, Pauly and Sitch find two more Canadians who are DTF. Ramona finishes work, and all three couples head back to the house. Vinny revels in his status as a single man no longer while Sitch and Pauly try to convince their cannonball-tittied grenades to get in the hot tub. This includes, but is not limited to, spraying their dicks with cologne. Because there's nothing a girl likes better than to go downtown and get the rancid flavor of Drakkar Noir up in her grill.

It eventually comes out that one of the girls has a boyfriend. It's a matter of no consequence to Sitch, but it does seem to matter to the chick that he previously considered DTF. Instead of allowing Pauly to enjoy the five minutes that his trick thinks it'll take to get it in, Sitch tells her she might as well get it out (pun intended, what?!) post-haste. "Oh no," says Pauly, "it's like déjà vu all over again!" As his porn-titted boob trick leaves, calling Sitch a douchebag along the way, Pauly regrets that he has once again been cockblocked by his wingman. He thinks it may be time for a talk. If he can just stop The Situation's blue ball-inspired ranting...

Next week: Season finale! Sitch scores two grenades in a club bathroom = four times the shame? Sammi and Ronnie will never stop fighting. Never! And Pauly suddenly blows his top at the accusation that he called JWOWW fake. He gets so mad it's a surprise that geyser a doesn't blow out of his hair. Proof that he uses really good gel, I guess.

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Jersey Shore




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