Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
Angelina Hag-erina

A bit later, Angelina tries to fend off Jose's advances for birthday sex. What follows is some bumbling attempts at making the bed and Angelina interviewing that she was on the rag, so it wasn't going to happen anyway. Of course, she lies to Jose that she just "needs a minute," so he dutifully assumes the outside spoon position, waiting for Angelina to come around. Man, it's gotta be sad to look back and realize hoping to get some from Angelina was just a bridge too far.

The next day, Jose leaves. Angelina interviews that she is definitely not in love with him. Once he's gone, she goes back inside to brag to The Situation that she and Jose smashed the night before. What is wrong with her? Of course, Sitch turns it back on her for smashing Vinny one night, then Jose the next. Backfire! Word travels of the supposed smashing, and everyone talks shit about what a slut Angelina is to her face. This girl can't do anything right. They both bring up the double standard, though the boys say it sort of victoriously, while Angelina whines -- only because she's not getting the positive attention she'd like, of course. To her complaint, Sitch is all, "It is what it is. Ho." Angelina says, "I'm a single girl, what do you want me to do?" Richest of all, Ronnie spits back, "If that's what helps you sleep at night." Don't even get me started on that pig. As always, Snooki can be counted on to turn a nice phrase: "Angelina got it in with Ronnie because she's a loosey-goose." The point remains the same, though. Angelina's a whore. JWOWW also acknowledges the double standard, but claims Angelina is giving the guys a reason to humiliate her. Oh, honey, they don't need one.

Pauly's date Rocio visits him at the gelato shop. He's happy because "she's cool." In Pauly's world, that translates to "definitely not a ho, not a stalker." They shoot the breeze. Pauly interviews that he wants to take things slow because he has a tendency of turning girls into stalkers. By which I'm guessing he means banging them and then being shocked that they actually want to hang out again and/or pursue a possible relationship. Bitches be psycho, y'all.

Back in the shop, JWOWW calls the house and asks Angelina to wake up Snooki for a nail appointment. When JWOWW returns home, surprise surprise, Angelina hasn't lived up to her end of the bargain. So Pauly heads in to literally drag Snooki out of bed before carrying her around the house and dropping her on the bean bag chair -- all while sing-songing, "Wake up! Wake up! You have a nail appointment!" It's kind of adorable.

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Jersey Shore




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