Seeing Pauly's family, Sitch finds a way to make it all about him and feel sad that his family didn't visit. His worries will soon be out the window, though, because the girls of the house are planning a multi-stripper celebration. Oh wait, I forgot that this is The Situation. He takes every opportunity for bellyaching to the fullest. As such, Sitch has a sourpuss on his face the entire time the guys go out for dinner with Pauly's family. He excuses himself to wallow, desperately hoping someone will run after him and dote on him at the expense of Pauly. Of course they don't. They're eating delicious cake! In the absence of affection, he takes a bit of shuteye, but he's close enough that the rest of the party can hear him snoring like a wildebeest. They all have a good laugh at Sitchy's expense, and Ronnie tiptoes over to squirt frosting all over his face. I'm not sure if that plan backfired or worked out just right. After all, he did get attention, and that's all Sitch wants in life. He pretends to be upset, but you know he's loving it.

Back home, Sammi is putting finishing touches on another, homemade cake for Pauly, complete with an icing man with a little vanilla blow-out. I totally want that for my next birthday cake. Six months from the day, people. Send it c/o TWoP! Sitch arrives home and continues his trail of guido tears in earnest now that he really isn't getting any personalized attention (or cake). This is the moment, it seems when, Darth Vader-like, Sitch realizes he can't straddle the line between good guy and bad guy. If the good side won't have him, then it will be the dark side where he finds his solace. All that toying with malice and second-rate scheming? That was Phase One. Now it is on.

The next morning, Snooki bends over and notes casually that her ass is protruding. By which she means her a-hole. By which she means she's torn up from anal sex. Thanks for that info, Snooks!

Out in the den, Sitch sits and stares blankly into the distance as Pauly enters the room and takes a seat. The conversation that follows might as well be the one between Anton Chigurh and that poor schlub at the middle-of-nowhere gas station. Sitch has all the disaffectation of a sociopath, and yet! He also has jealousy. It's an ugly combination. Almost as ugly as his marigold gym shorts. He and JWOWW have a weird exchange when she wants the keys to the car, and she notices that he's acting odd. Alas, she doesn't give a hoot.