Jersey Shore
Drunk Punch Love

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
Sucker Punched

Things settle down as Sammi gathers her things. One of JWOWW's pooches starts yapping, so she retrieves the other one from Sitch's grips to calm it down so she and Roger can smush. She admits that he has moved up from being just a rebound and she's developing feelings for him. Speaking of smushing, though, poor Sitch's trick! She's lying in the guest bedroom all alone, waiting for the best 30 seconds of her life. To lie there prostrate knowing you've been forgotten by the world's biggest horndog must be next-level demoralizing.

Everyone's still asleep at 6:36 a.m. as Sammi waits for her mom to pick her up. Sitch says it's been the longest night at the Jersey Shore yet. Vinny tries to make the best of the miserable night by playfully asking Snooki if she and Ryder want to sleep in his bed. Snooki gives him a look that can only be interpreted as, "Drop dead."

It's no matter anyway, though, because everyone scampers over to the sliding door to listen in as Sammi approaches Ronnie for what could be their last conversation. She apologizes for punching him and tries to explain her position. She says it hurt that he befriended JWOWW. She says it's her final goodbye and gives him the opportunity to say whatever he wants. So he picks up and walks off in cold, hard silence. Not taking no, she follows him up to the balcony and finds him weeping. He finally agrees to go inside with her and allows her to crawl into bed with him for one last cuddle. He pulls away after a few minutes. She brings up the many second chances she's given him and asks him if he can give her one more chance to make things better. Sammi interviews that she is disgusted with herself and promises to take things one day at a time as she tries to repair her relationship with everyone in the house, even JWOWW. Want to know the best part? The Situation is fucking lying there in his bed and listening to the whole thing! Jeebus amighty! Get a ham sandwich, you assface. He finally pipes up to ask if he should go downstairs so they can have some makeup sex. Sheesh.

Sammi heads back downstairs to tell her mom that she's changed her mind about leaving. Sammi's mom tells her she can't go any lower than punching Ronnie in the face. Normally, I'd agree. But this is Sammi. So there's that.

Morning marches on, and Ryder leaves. Do you think she'll ever return to this nuthouse again? After the last two visits she's had, I certainly wouldn't, but then again I'd lock the door if I were letting Vinny hit it from behind. So I guess Ryder and I have a few differences in thinking.

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Jersey Shore




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