Jersey Shore
Drunk Punch Love

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
Sucker Punched

Everyone sits down for family dinner. Sitch gives thanks that Sammi is staying. Sammi tells everyone they've been exceptionally cool with her and she appreciates it. Ronnie takes this as a sign of maturity. How long will this last?

That night, while Deena, Fake Ronnie, JWOWW, and Roger go on a double date, Snooki and Vinny hit up an adult store. Snooki is gung-ho to buy a stripper pole, but only if it doesn't show up on her credit card. Mr. Polizzi would not approve. Apparently the sales girl sufficiently convinced her, because the gruesome twosome return home, stripper pole in hand. They quickly realize the pole is too short for the ceiling in the house but make lemonade when they wedge it into the threshold between the living room and the kitchen. Vinny puts on a feather boa and takes the pole for a spin. Don't quit your day job, Vin Man! Ronnie follows quickly behind and proves much more adept at working the pole. Glad to know he's always got a backup career at Chippendales. Pauly and Sitch also take turns, then Vinny knocks the pole down on his second go-round.

Later, the guys head out for haircuts, wherein the barber informs them Fake Ronnie is spreading the word that Deena likes to give rim jobs. Sitch decides he is no longer comfortable sharing drinks, food, or anything mouth-related with Deena in the foreseeable future. JWOWW and Deena join the guys for GTL. Naturally, Sitch takes the first opportunity to tell Deena the hot new gossip... except in the most elliptical, ridiculous way. He finally comes clean, and Deena is appalled. JWOWW of course sees the humor in this mishap and cannot contain her cackling. Pan up to The Situation, who is positively beaming at the drama he's created. Deena swears she's going to go home and rip Fake Ronnie a new asshole. All the better to suck on, my dear!

That night, everyone heads out to the club, where Deena sees Fake Ronnie and accosts him from atop a bar. He swears he didn't say anything. She takes pleasure in making him look like a douchebag in public, not fully realizing that she had to scream the supposed act she performed over loud music, which certainly didn't make her look like a princess.

As the night wears on, JWOWW finds herself in a better mood than she has been in weeks (thanks, Rog!) and decides to make the first step towards a truce with Sammi by offering to buy her and Ronnie a drink. Sammi joins her at the bar, where Sammi admits she was wrong in Miami. They agree that JWOWW was looking out for her and make a pact to have a good rest of the summer. They hug it out after Sammi says she's done being mean. Hopefully that "done" has a lot more meaning than the "done" she would use with Ronnie. Because, frankly, these bitches are a lot more fun when they're acting like happy idiots. Sammi says she's happy to have reconciled with JWOWW. She says coming to terms with Ronnie could be another story, but their dancing and kissing on the dance floor implies that we're back to the status quo... for now.

Next week: The ladies try on hooker wear. SamRo 2.0 resume their love-hate relationship. Snooki finds a man who knows how to work the pole. And Ronnie gets an anal probe!

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Jersey Shore




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