Jersey Shore
Fist Pump, Pushups, Chapstick

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
Team Meatballs, Attack!

It's telling that Sammi and Ronnie are not involved in this little interlude. They wouldn't have the self-awareness to stomach it. As such, the mood shifts when they decide to have yet another conversation about what they are to each other. In particular, Sammi is having a hard time dealing with the fact that Ronnie got another girl's phone number and -- gasp! -- actually used it to call her. Ronnie says he didn't know what their status was coming into the house. She immediately adopts an aggressive stance, saying she doesn't care and accusing him of doing her dirty. I guess when Sammi gets her snatch on someone, he's cordoned off for life. She calls him a pig and says she's grossed out by him. In the other room, Pauly, Deena, and Vinny can hear the whole exchange going down. Pauly says, if he has to hear another SamRo 2.0 fight, he'll smash his head into the wall. Interestingly, no one laughs.

Back outside, Ronnie admits to making a mistake and apologizes, but Sammi isn't buying it. He admits he called this girl one night when he was drunk, but Sammi thinks it's damning that he's in touch with the hussy enough outside of the house (i.e. back in the States) to bring her number with him to Italy and disguise it as a guy's phone number. At which point Ronnie brings up Arvin. Oh sweet baby Jesus, not this again. Back inside, Pauly carries on with his thought process, saying Sitch smashed his head into the wall he was so sick of SamRo 2.0's bullshit. Vinny: "He had the right idea, actually."

Outside, Sammi insists she's not guilty, but Ronnie thinks he is where he is mentally because of Sammi's past behavior. What?! That makes zero sense. Not that Ronnie's arguments ever make sense. He has one m.o. -- blame Sammi -- and he sticks to it at all times regardless of its applicability to the given circumstance. Of course the next explosion of verbal diarrhea is all about how he loves her and thinks of her constantly. This is textbook abuse, y'all. And has been since day one. Why are counselors not called in for these two? For her part, Sammi tells him she's heard this line countless times before. He tells her fine then. If she walks away, he won't chase her.

Vinny finally has enough and walks outside to shut this shit down. He says he speaks for the rest of the house when he asks the two of them to keep their problems away from him and everyone else because it brings them down. On this one front SamRo 2.0 is united: They insist they weren't fighting but having a "normal conversation." While it's true the decibel of their voices was distinctly lower than usual, that doesn't mean their interaction was anything approaching normal. Of course, trying to explain normal to them would be like banging one's head against a wall. In which case, perhaps Sitch should be having this sit-down with them instead. He's excellent at banging his head against walls.

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Jersey Shore




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