Jersey Shore
Fist Pump, Pushups, Chapstick

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
Team Meatballs, Attack!

Vinny makes the valid point that their conversations in the past have had a way of turning on a dime and going from a "normal" exchange to screaming-yelling-glasses breaking melee. He says they're in Italy and is basically like, "Leave your shit back home." SamRo 2.0 say they take his point, and Sammi admits she respects where he's coming from. Vinny leaves, and Ronnie pushes that they still need to figure this out because the problem won't resolve itself. Sammi says she thinks she'll be okay but that they need to figure something out. Ronnie says he'll be fine either way -- with or without her -- though he would prefer to be with her. Sammi interviews that she thinks she and Ron are back together, if only for the night. She says he spoke differently to her than ever before, so she's going to give it another try, blah blah blah... I swear they just took footage from a previous season an imposed a classic Italian painting on the green screen in the background. S.O.S., y'all. I mean that in all senses.

The next day, Ronnie and JWOWW head out for a drink together. Since his relationship is temporarily not a hotbed of drama, Ronnie feels the overwhelming urge to get all up in somebody else's. As such, he tells JWOWW the phone conversation he overhead between Snooki and Jionni. JWOWW agrees that Jionni's behavior is shitty and that he should have known what he was getting into when he started dating Snooki. They say they hate to see it because Snooki is so clearly in love with him. Ronnie questions what kind of man Jionni is. (That's rich.) JWOWW says ominously, "We'll find out soon enough."

That night, Snooki finds The Situation on the smoking porch and confronts him about lying that they hooked up. He says he was planning on "doing something" to make it up to her. She demands he admit he was wrong and apologize right then and there so they can move on. He starts off like he's going to apologize, saying that he shouldn't have said anything to Ronnie. "Maybe I should have said something to Pauly?" Snooki calls him a fucking idiot and storms off. Sitch interviews, "Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, but I still care about the girl, and I tried to man up." Those three thoughts have nothing to do with one another (nor reality), right? And you can't even call it a Frankenbite because the quote is shown all the way through. He just makes no effing sense. He slurs, "You win some, you lose some," and Snooki says it's like talking to a wall with him. Or smashing your head into one.

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Jersey Shore




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