Jersey Shore
Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | 324 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
A Swarm of Bitches

They make a quick detour by the Store Shore to tell Danny, who is excited enough to allow them to waste his precious shirts and iron-on letters making shirts with such phrases as "VINNY, YOU'RE COMING HOME!" (JWOWW), "WHERE'S YOUR BEARD? - TEAM VINNY" (Ronnie), "VINNING ALL DAY" (The Situation), and "FREE VINNY - WHERE'S MY BITCH?" (Pauly).

They arrive at the house and start pounding on the door like crazy people. The "WHERE'S MY BITCH?" shirt is suddenly very fitting. After a few minutes, though someone answers the door, and the kids barrel into the house uninvited like it's a damn guido drug bust. Fortunately for everyone involved, they do find Vinny in his room and proudly show off all their shirts like four-year-old offering up the world's tackiest macaroni necklaces. Vinny shows off his own handiwork from the last few days -- a massive tattoo on his upper chest that says "LET GO ~ LET GOD." The girls all "Awwwww!" at the sentiment, and Ronnie scratches his head in confusion (what's new?).

Either way, everyone agrees he looks reinvigorated and that the week home did him a world of good. Vinny goes to say goodbye to his tearful mom, and Snooki assures her, "We'll take care of him, I promise." Vinny knows he's not totally out of the woods, but he thinks he's better equipped to carry on with his recovery back at the Shore House. With that, it's a Saturday night, and their minds are already on where they're going out. My mind is on this. And all is right with the world once again!

Next week: Snooki either has a UTI or is pregnant. (I'm pretty sure the symptoms are not at all the same.) The bunny strikes again, only with more thrusting! Sitch is friendlier and less scheme-y than ever, but never you fear. Inspector Ron Ron is on the case!

Jersey Shore

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