JWOWW decides to get to the bottom of all this sudden interest in the Shore Store. She heads outside and sees the sign, then promptly rips it down. Of course Danny notices and tasks her with making a new sign. JWOWW asks Sitch what nickname she should give Danny on the sign to bust his balls for busting hers. Sitch tells her to call him "The Old Dude" then lets out laugh like Natalie Portman's love child with a congested duck. People in glass shore houses, Sitch! JWOWW flatly notes, "They might think it's you." Danny smugly staples the sign back on the store's facade and announces, "This is going up because of you, Mike." Sitch only emits a blank stare before lying down for a nap behind the counter. Meanwhile, JWOWW and Ronnie move on to Plan B, scheming about ways to make the new roommate's life a living hell. I think this is a good occasion for that classic piece of advice: "Just be yourself!"
Elsewhere, the Meatballs go to the store to buy supplies for the birthday bash. Of course Snooki can't resist screaming, "Party's here!" They also can't resist slapping each on the ass with weird clapper hand contraptions and putting on giant bunny heads... just 'cause. The girls buy about a trillion balloons and the bunny suit. You know, just to spice things up. Like an old married couple trying to introduce role play into the sexual equation, I suspect this will go south sooner rather than later.
That night, the kids are excited to finally let Pauly and Sitch in on the secret. They arrive at Karma -- which is decked out in streamers and metallic fringe like the inside of a low-rent drag queen's acid trip -- and are indeed surprised. Sitch, who admits to being ultra-paranoid, is especially incredulous that someone could pull one over on him. He's all, "You like me! You really like me!" Oh, and did I mention they have not only a titty cake but also an ass cake? Mercifully, we are spared a "nice piece of..." joke.
Deena does a rather unenthusiastic Jersey Turnpike on Pauly before handcuffing him to the chair, which I think was a strategic miscalculation on her part, frankly. As the cuffs click around his wrists, Sitch's paranoia returns, and he fears that he's going to be swept into a scene straight out of the end of Pulp Fiction or, at the very least, see some ugly chick pop out of the cake. The look of unabated terror on his face is pretty priceless. Unfortunately, his roommates aren't clever enough to see the awesome potential that is Sitch immobilized -- plus they're really planning this whole stripstravaganza for Pauly's benefit, so both guys get hot chicks. Sitch cockily says his stripper is cute enough that he "might even take her home," like that would be the real payment -- not the stack of sticky singles she's inevitably stuffing into his lycra "work uniform." And so Pauly declares it the best day of his life. Which I think kind of loses its oomph when you say it literally every day.