Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
Ryder on the Storm

Later that night, Snooki's friend Ryder phones about her visit the next day. Snooki chastises her for being drunk when she's supposed to catch a plane to Miami in a few hours. Given Ryder's state of inebriation, Snooki and JWOWW have to pass the phone back and forth several times to make sense of Ryder's slurry ramblings. Eventually, they realize it's a fool's errand and resign themselves to the fact that Ryder is most likely going to miss her plane.

The next morning, Snooki calls Ryder and gets no answer. She assumes the worst but is pleasantly surprised when Ryder actually shows up. They paint the town red, shopping for sundresses and head over to the place that sells these bad boys. I want to go to there. Snooki explains that she and Ryder like to "go crazy and be stupid." Which is different from every other day in your life how? After a few Coronaritas, they take to the dance floor and to the pool table. It's reminiscent of the good old days when she was dancing on the boardwalk all by her lonesome. As much as I enjoy the earring-removing, hard-scrabble Snooki, we definitely need more of last season's Snooki.

That night, the kids get ready for da club. Sitch mentions (to no one in particular) that his vest -- a two-toned one with a massive cross on the back, FYI -- is the key to his ensemble. Pauly walks around trumpeting that the cabs have arrived, and as they're leaving, JWOWW tells Sitch he looks like a Chippendales dancer. Truth. At the club, everyone takes to his/her requisite position -- Snooki and Ryder dancing on the banquettes, Sammi and Ronnie grinding up on each other, and the boys scoping out their options. They quickly determine that tonight is slim pickins.

Regardless, The Situation takes the floor with any old grenade he can find and starts obnoxiously smacking dat azz. Ronnie and Sammi move from their grinding (thanks God) and sit down to watch and judge. Because they are asshats. Asshats who happen to be right in this instance because at least two girls that Sitch is macking on have to beg him to stop thrust his groin at them and/or humping them against a wall. [Best part of the Sam/Ron convo is that she claims if she met him she'd be like, "hell no" and Ronnie reminds her that she did meet him and she made out with him. Ah, short term memory loss. -- Angel] The Situation says that it had been prophesized that someday a "Pimp of all Pimps" would come and that man is The Situation. Perhaps that explains the religious themed vest. Pauly notes that Sitch's aggression works to his benefit because he looks like a world-class gentleman by comparison.

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Jersey Shore




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