Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
Ryder on the Storm

Eventually, Sitch tires of rejection and tries to round up the gang to go home. Only he's the only one who's ready to leave. He goes so far as to chuck Snooki over his shoulder caveman-style, pulling her away from some random guy she's vibing with. This move warrants dirty looks from all around, especially when Snooki drunkenly starts screaming at him about what an a-hole he is. She pushes him and promises not to forget how he's treating her. He takes it to be business as usual since Snooki has been known to be a drunken mess on occasion. The guys leave, and Snooki follows with Ryder soon after, claiming her mood and her night have been ruined. Everyone arrives home. Sitch gives Snooki the silent treatment. She runs to her room to pout, which he deems the behavior of a 10-year-old. And with the maturity and sexual finesse of a 12-year-old, he's way ahead of the game!

The next morning, the tension is still palpable between the two of them. The guys head out for GTL, while the girls hit a bar with a pool. They invite Sammi, who actually waffles whether she should go play in the sun or spend an hour homebound waiting for Ronnie to come back from the gym. She's worried she'll be stuck talking to JWOWW since Ryder will occupy Snooki's time. She decides to wait, asking Ronnie to validate her choice when he returns from work. He confessionalizes that he's getting fed up with making Sammi's decisions for her.

There's a time-filler bit after Snooki, Ryder, and JWOWW return from the bar, in which Snooki and Ryder make meaningless noises at each other for about five hours while rooting through the refrigerator in an effort to mix more cocktails. They settle on a nutella-vodka milkshake, which ends up tasting "like asshole." It's riveting.

They hit up the liquor store, running into Sitch and co. on the way out. He tries to make nice with Snooki about their confrontation the night before, but she thinks it merits more than a sidewalk apology. She appreciates that Sitch acknowledged his wrongdoing but wants to have a full conversation for some reason. Sitch dismisses her as a drama queen. The girls head back to the house, mix another nasty cocktail, and draw caricatures of the roommates on the blackboard by the telephone. Again, riveting.

That night, Snooki goes around with a camcorder as everyone gets ready. The only interview we see is Sammi's because Snooki asks her if part of her pre-club ritual is masturbation. They both claim it's not. Uh huh. Also, there is a three-way boob grapple between Snooki, JWOWW, and Ryder. Pauly (who answers the phone "House of Love") trumpets the cabs' arrival, and they're off!

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Jersey Shore




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