Jersey Shore
Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | 861 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Festa รจ Qui! (That's Italian for "Party's Here!")

Then Vinny finds the bidet. He half-jokingly predicts, "On a lonely night..."

The girls finally arrive in Florence, totter up the stairs in their mega-heels, and give the boys big hugs. Cue requisite awkwardness from SamRo 2.0 in which Sammi insists, "Ronnie looks good." (In what universe?) Then the guys are forced to care the girls' bags full of spray tan up the marble stairs. The final room draw is afoot, and Deena agrees to room with Pauly and Vinny. She says that she used to favor Ronnie's type, but now she's all about the Lean Mean Delvecchio Machine. She wonders if they can be smush buddies, or as the Italians call it amici con benefici.

With that, Pauly pours out the first Limoncello shots (by which I mean entire cups of Limoncello), and the gang get ready to go out for the night (notte). While the ladies sit in awe of JWOWW's 700cc implants, Pauly learns the limits of his voltage converter. Soon enough, it's shot time again. Also known as the "Ronnie Sits on Side Tables and Breaks Them" hour.

Eventually, the gang heads out. If they don't go to Space Electronica, then that ridiculous trip I took to Florence when I was a teenager will be for naught. Sadly, they start off incredibly slowly, regarding local churches (as you do in Europe) and marveling at the nearby "Ferris wheel" (what you and I would call a carousel).

They decide to take un pisolino piccola discoteca (a little disco nap) before heading out to da club. During which time Deena breaks it to Sitch that Snooki is in a relationship. Word spreads like wildfire that Sitch wants to get it in with Snooki, which I would imagine is of particular concern to her Yeti boots. Yetis and forest fires don't mix, y'all.

As everyone else sits around and shoots the bull, Ronnie drinks all by his lonesome. Even Snooki, remember she of the DWB (Drunk While Boardwalking), last season is all, "That's pathetic." The girls are convinced that SamRo 2.0 will get back together. Snooki goes so far as to ask, "What if he asked you on, like, a romantic date." Sammi seriously doubts Ronnie's capacity for romance. On cue, he makes a fart sound using his hand and his mouth.

Jersey Shore

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