Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
Hook-Ups & Beat Downs

Outside, Angelina goes off on how Sitch is psycho (pot-kettle) and old-looking (fair enough). Inside, the guys return to the much-less-valid argument that Angelina is a dirty whore and shouldn't be bringing boys home. Should have stopped while they were ahead. Angelina worries about what she'll do when her friend leaves, vowing to punch everyone in the house in the face if provoked. And on this show, I could see it happening. These producers don't give a fuck. None of this weak-ass "no contact" stuff like on the Real World. Back inside, the guys lighten up as they start laughing about moving Angelina's bed outside, then throwing her into the garbage bags from whence it came. Angelina takes a more serious tone, saying these people are not her true friends (really?!) and that she misses her real life.

JWOWW returns with Tom, and Sitch apprises her of the blow-up. He thinks Angelina only stepped up to him because she knows he wouldn't hit back and that she'd be too scared to test the waters with any of the other girls. JWOWW unexpectedly sticks up for Angelina (not to The Situation's face, mind you). She interviews that she thinks Angelina has earned her spot in the house by the amount of confrontation's she's been in and her sheer stick-to-it-iveness. Way to think like a producer, Ms. Farley. JWOWW finds Angelina and invites her into the ultra-exclusive "I Hit Michael Sorrentino Club." Angelina's in no mood for commiserating, though, and wonders aloud whether she should leave the house. She's had her fill of "mental abuse" -- again, all of her own creation -- but JWOWW urges her to stick around, saying she deserves it. Angelina is surprised by JWOWW's encouraging words. I'm sure JWOWW is up to no good, but it's certainly a way to keep the shit storm raging. Hell, as long as it keeps things interesting enough that we never have to hear about Ronnie and Sammi again, I'm okay with this plan.

Eventually the various cliques within the house decide to go out, and the guys have a repeat of last week's festive, giggle-filled singing about "T-Shirt tiiiiiiiiime!" Sitch calls the cab, and there's a round of hilarity when the dispatcher are very confused about this passenger that calls himself The Situation. Sitch also beckons the Canadian trick he met in da club -- the one who was hot enough he almost fucked in the bathroom, if you'll recall. He gives her a tour of the house, presumptuously asking her which pajamas she wants for later that night, and calling dibs on the Communal Smush Room.

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Jersey Shore




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