Jersey Shore
Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: C- | 109 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
"I Wanna Go Home!"

Some cops hover outside the bar where Deena's drinking, and she promises she won't go in the street. She says she's afraid of cops right now, but then goes out and asks them a question. And hugs them. She found out she can dance as much as she wants, as long as she's on the boardwalk. They head back home to get ready to go to Karma, and she tells Ron this is what a Meatball is: drunk and ready to go again.

Snooki has decided she's going to Karma again. "And, plus, I think everyone wants to hang out with me." Ron whispers to Sam that he loves Deena, but if she talks about herself anymore, he's going to (expletive). Sam tells him to tell her. Karma. Jenni sees all her best Long Island friends are there. With Roger. She says she can't believe he did this for her, and it is the best feeling ever. Snooki is looking for her baby daddy, who shows up and asks her how she's feeling. She tells him she wants to cook him dinner, and he's incredulous. She says if it tastes like shit, he has to tell her. But he says he can't tell her that. Why do I think they are so cute now? Oh, right: Snooki is sober. She is better this way.

Meanwhile, Mike's getting cozy with some other girl. His logic is that he is sitting there minding his business, and if an extremely hot girl wants to bounce up and down on his lap for a song or two, that's okay. Vinny says that Paula would be crying if she could see this, just like Mike would be pissed if Paula were grinding on guys. Some guy whose face is blurred out approaches Mike and tells him how much Paula loves him and his family, and that she told this guy they made it official. Mike looks SHOCKED that someone would know about this. He remembers how excited she was, right? Then Paula's friend, Whitney, tells Mike she saw him. She even impersonates the girl grinding on his lap. Mike says that Paula apparently has a number of spies (why isn't she just there herself?). He says he could take home any girl he pleases, but he isn't going to cross that line. He likes flirting with disaster, but is going home alone.

In the van on the way home, drunk Deena tells Sam she and Ron had a great time today, and Sam's like, "Except Ron said you just talked about yourself." Ron agrees, and Deena gets all pouty and sad. He asks her why she's so sensitive, and she says it hurts her feelings. He says he's not mad, and he had a great time too, but he was just saying what happened. She starts crying, and tells him not to hang out with her then. She says she hates this house, and wants to go home. I feel like there's going-home drama every season. It's getting old.

Jersey Shore

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