Jersey Shore
Great Meatballs of Fire

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: C- | Grade It Now!
"I Wanna Go Home!"

Meanwhile, Mike's getting cozy with some other girl. His logic is that he is sitting there minding his business, and if an extremely hot girl wants to bounce up and down on his lap for a song or two, that's okay. Vinny says that Paula would be crying if she could see this, just like Mike would be pissed if Paula were grinding on guys. Some guy whose face is blurred out approaches Mike and tells him how much Paula loves him and his family, and that she told this guy they made it official. Mike looks SHOCKED that someone would know about this. He remembers how excited she was, right? Then Paula's friend, Whitney, tells Mike she saw him. She even impersonates the girl grinding on his lap. Mike says that Paula apparently has a number of spies (why isn't she just there herself?). He says he could take home any girl he pleases, but he isn't going to cross that line. He likes flirting with disaster, but is going home alone.

In the van on the way home, drunk Deena tells Sam she and Ron had a great time today, and Sam's like, "Except Ron said you just talked about yourself." Ron agrees, and Deena gets all pouty and sad. He asks her why she's so sensitive, and she says it hurts her feelings. He says he's not mad, and he had a great time too, but he was just saying what happened. She starts crying, and tells him not to hang out with her then. She says she hates this house, and wants to go home. I feel like there's going-home drama every season. It's getting old.

Next morning. Quack phone. Mike answers. It's Paula. She says that Whitney told her they talked, and he said all good things. He looks relieved, and says it's very hard to say anything bad about her. He gets off the phone, and considers that a success. Deena wakes up and hugs Ron. She says she was drunk and he's like her brother. No big.

MVP hits the boardwalk, then heads to a diner. Vinny's like, "I don't think you can grind on chicks when you have a girlfriend." Mike's like, "I know. I just found that out." I almost believe him. Then he spots Pauly's stalker from last season. Dude. So disturbing. Pauly says he can't look at her, or she'll be looking right at him. He makes fun of her. Rightfully. I mean, she's a big-time stalker who actually allows this show to put her face on TV.

Ron has decided to hang out with the girls this day, but Deena's talking about her ass and poop and hemorrhoids. Not Ron's idea of fun conversation. Sam, Ron and Deena go to the bar, and Deena starts drinking.

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Jersey Shore




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