The joyful reunion doesn't last very long, though, because JWOWW quickly realizes that things could easily get ugly between Jionni and any number of housemates (primarily Vinny and The Situation). Witness Jionni's unhappy sidelong glances when Snooki gets chummy with Vinny's entire family.
Across the room, we finally meet The Unit, a.k.a. Sitch's wingman in stirring up a world of trouble between Snooki and Jionni in Italy, fellationically speaking. Sitch notes that Snooki's friend Ryder, who was also witness to the alleged "gettin' down," is also at the party and calls it a perfect storm. The Unit takes much pleasure in announcing that he's going to mess with Jionni all night, specifically by coming back to the Shore House. Of course Snooki is opposed to this idea. She immediately gets into with Unit, calling him a loser and insulted his improperly gelled curly hair. He moves across the room, and Snooki continues screaming at him, hating hardcore on his ridiculous name. It's pretty tough talk coming from a girl wearing a gold lamé cheetah print headband with a crinoline flower on top. The Situation pretends like he wants to play peacemaker, but it's a classic Sitch maneuver, letting his friend do the dirty work for him. Inside, you know he's relishing this.
Even Pauly notes how absurd it is. All this happens in a matter of minutes as Jionni has stepped away. When he returns, Snooki is has worked herself into tears, which only serves to confirm her guilt in Ronnie's mind. When Snooki goes to the bathroom to touch up, JWOWW makes a beeline for Unit and asks what he saw. He tells her, "I saw everything." I can't even begin to describe how gross that is. Who watches his friend get a blowjob? Oh yeah, this is Jersey Shore. They all do. Unit threatens to bring down Snooki's night if she keeps throwing him shade. Cue card: "HURRICANE SITUATION."
Knowing this night is spiraling out of control, JWOWW heads to the bathroom to calm down Snooki and tell her that her sass toward Unit could have serious consequences. She tells her to chill out before they return to the Shore House.
Back outside, The Situation is wetting his pants with glee at the "poetic" (his word) justice of having "all two witnesses" will be in the same place with Jionni in just moments. I love how he keeps trotting out this idea of witnesses like he's a damn prosecutor in his own little kangaroo court. Ronnie piles on another metaphor: "Nicole shouldn't be blowing up at The Unit if he has dirt on her. That's like a bad chess move there. That's checkmate for Snooki" First off, I'm quite certain Ronnie as much about chess as Sitch knows about being a lawyer. Second off, if anything that would be a bad checkers move. It's not like her blowing up will have consequences five or 10 steps down the road. It will have an immediate impact. Game over. What I'm saying is, don't give yourself or your peers too much credit for class or intellect, Ronnie. To wit, I will finish this portion of the evening by simply quoting Unit verbatim: "She should be licking my asshole right now."