Night falls, and Vinny perks up in time to head to da club with everyone but SamRo 2.0. He hopes getting it in will build up his "Seaside Momentum," and Pauly is ready to lend a hand to the cause. Unfortunately, da club is teeming with grenades, including one dance-happy lady who looks exactly like a Rachel Dratch caricature as she breaks it down for a one-sided dance battle with JWOWW. There are end zone dance wobbly legs, y'all. Pauly and Vinny decide to call it an early night and head home glumly.
Back at the bar, Jionni buys a couple rounds of drinks for The Situation, who takes perverse pleasure in getting comped by the cuckold of Seaside. Jionni notes that he's getting along with Sitch at last, noting that Sitchy told him several times that night, "You're the nicest guy I've ever met." Snooki thinks it's really weird that Sitch isn't being a complete dick for five seconds, so she takes her confusion out on Jionni by telling him, "I don't know why everyone says that. You're not that nice." As we've seen, it's a completely accurate statement. Jionni is a jealous, controlling, a-hole, but Snooki is a moron to be a bitch to her boyfriend while her nemesis is being nice to him. Bad maneuver, Snickers. Poorly played. Note to Ronnie: This is where the chess metaphor would have been appropriate.
Back at the house, Vinny tosses and turns. Such are the depths of his misery! He gets up and completely blows through the living room without acknowledging Pauly and Ronnie. Sensing something is wrong, so they head up to the roof deck to check on him. He is totally adrift in Seaside. They tell him to take it one day at a time, just get through the weekend, but he says he can't function in this environment and doesn't care anymore. Pauly, normally cool as a cucumber, is worried for Vinny, who threatens to go home.
This season: Bunny-suited humping! Snooki pees on the deck! Fights galore! Sitch gets wifed up, JWOWW and Roger break down, Vinny peaces out and the house falls apart. The guidos go camping! And Snooki imparts some words to live by: "I look like a Jersey skank, and I love it!" She can be downright Confucian in her phrasing, can our Snooki.