Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | 2 USERS: A+
Karma's a Bitch

Sammi and Ronnie finally arrive home wordlessly and with a huge, stuffed banana, no less! Offers Pauly, "You can't walk in here with a big banana and expect everything to be peaches." Truer words... The misfits decide to head downstairs and get a cold reception from the roommates. Pauly ultimately calls them out for bailing on the first Sunday dinner, and Vinny interviews that Sammi is acting like a spoiled brat. For her part, Sammi maintains her stance of, "I don't give a fuuuuuck." Deena says Sammi might as well be furniture at this point, because she's boring and adds nothing to the house.

After dinner, the gang heads to the T-shirt shop to reacquaint themselves with Angelina-hater Danny and his many iron-ons. The stupid, immature conflict continues as the kids write down their work schedule, and Sammi insists on writing her own. In an interview, Snooki flips her hair and mocks Sammi for being prissy, which is a pretty strong indictment coming from Snooki.

Back at the house, SamRo 2.0 sequester themselves to their room (why again didn't they pick the twofer?) while the others head up to the roof to bitch about them. Though Snooki still has some hope for a friendship with Sammi and hopes for an apology, JWOWW admits she's given up on her entirely. Thus begins another sad, lonely night for Ronnie, who pines to have fun with his boys but is hamstrung by Sammi's inability to play well with others. He admits that he feels stuck under Sammi's thumb and held back by her misery. So the storm brews...

Another day breaks, bringing DMV (Deena, Mike and Vinny) to the T-shirt shop. Is it possible that this job is even more lame than the gelato shop? Short answer: Yes. The high point occurs when Sitch skips out on the job to get a bagel sandwich. Riveting stuff. Really.

The busy bees head home, where Snooki is randomly -- and of her own, screwball volition -- bouncing up and down on a couch as she smokes a cigarette. Deena suggests an impromptu game of roof kickball. They get in a solid 10 or 20 minutes before the ball inevitably flies over the railing and lands on a neighbor's roof. Instead of calling one of the guys to retrieve, they rig up a dwarf-dwarf-broom system that is doomed to fail from the moment it was conceived. Perhaps intuitively sensing that he can get a good view of Deena's booty-shorted ass, Vinny heads up and devises a MacGyver-esque contraption largely consisting of beer bongs tubes and succeeds in retrieving the ball. Miracles happen every day, folks.

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Jersey Shore




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