Jersey Shore
Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | 998 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Meatballs & Marshmallows

The next morning, Ronnie calls Sammi. He says he wanted to hear her voice, that he almost left the house the day before, and asks what their status is. She calls him out for only appreciating her now that she's gone. She says, if she comes back, she will be there for him as a friend. Ronnie doesn't think that's possible, not just because it's Sammi but also in general. Methinks he only believes this because he treats girls like crap and they don't want to be his friend afterward. He says that he won't be able to be in the same house as her if she comes back. I think if she is stupid enough to subject herself to this again, he should hang on for dear life. Sammi may just be pathetic enough to make it work!

That afternoon, Snooki and Deena have a marshmallow fight that climaxes with them literally sticking marshmallows all over the house. Now the duck phone has a sugary toupee! The Situation heads downstairs to make some phone calls and notices the marshmallows all over the place. They interrupt his phone with his sister, so he decides to exact his vengeance by offering to call the cab for them. He instructs the cabbie to tell them they're going to the bar, when in fact they will be headed to Times Square. Holy God, I don't even want to think how much that cab fare will cost. But then, Sitch tells them he's paying for the taxi and that he'll meet them there. Pauly arrives, questions them to no avail about the marshmallowification of the house, then is taken aside by Sitch to be let in on the plan. Pauly guffaws at this prank and deems the girls too dumb to realize what's going on. As if anyone would ever fucking think that they'd be sent on an 83-mile, 110-minute cab ride by their roommate. Though, if they let the cab actually take them out of the city limits, then they really are that dumb. And I won't be entirely surprised.

While the driver tells the girl that they're going "the back way" to the bar, the guys plan to head out for dinner. Only, The Situation takes his sweet time to the point that Ronnie leads a coup d'Sitch, and they leave without him. Awesomely, the title card between scenes reads: "DITCH SITCH." On the way to the restaurant, Pauly grouses to the guys that Sitch tried to pick up his ex-girlfriend at the club the night before. They all agree it was a grimy move.

Jersey Shore

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