Jersey Shore
Let’s Make It Official

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‘Everyone Goes to the Drunk Tank’

Previously: Shit got real. Finally. There was domestic violence. Rampant misogyny. And Deena Meatballing it up all the way to her arrest. "Get Crazy. Get Wild. Let's Party." Aren't we getting a little old for this? MTV could have spared us the previously about Deena though, since we get to relive it as this episode begins. Ron verifies with the cops that she's just going to have to wait it out in the drunk tank. Sammi feels terrible, since she'd just gotten out of her funk. She starts crying and Ron's like, what are you crying for? "Everyone goes to the drunk tank." Sam yells, "I'm not you!" Uh, believe it or not, I have also never gone to the drunk tank. Take that, Ron Ron. Ron explains this is going to take a couple hours, so they can go home and mope or "do what a meatball would do." They start drinking and he suggests a new plan of getting super drunk and going to hang out with Deena. Sam: "I can't lose both my meatballs."

MVP is heading out to GTL. Mike talks about Paula some more and she's at the tanning place (she works there). They chat before he tans, then he invites her to dinner on Monday and they kiss goodbye. His plan is to take her out and ask her out in a really cool way. Because, he reminds us, he hasn't had a girlfriend in a very long time. Then they head to the sporting goods store to get some activities for after Sunday night dinner. "So we don't have to hear these girls ramble on about their girlfriends," explains Pauly. Mike finds a stroller at the store that he suggests getting for Snooki. V and P agree. It's an all-terrain Schwinn stroller. Mike feels Nicole will forgive him now. Pauly interviews that he knows she won't forgive him, but it's just funny for Pauly to see Mike buy this big, crazy elaborate stroller.

Ron and Sam drink and hang out on the boardwalk for a while, until it's about time to go pick Deena up. They head back to the Shore House and fill in Jenni and Nicole. Snooki interviews that of course Deena got arrested. She's a Meatball. "I was just waiting for this moment." It's like the Meatball rite of passage, you guys. Awww. But Snooki thinks it's so dysfunctional that she's the most responsible one in the house now that Ron and Sam got all drunk after Deena's arrest. As Snooki drives them away, she says she feels like a mom getting her degenerate child out of jail with her two drunk kids in the back and her cripple. She's actually funnier sober, I think. I mean, intentionally funnier.

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Jersey Shore

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