Jersey Shore
Let’s Make It Official

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‘Everyone Goes to the Drunk Tank’

It's time for Paula and Mike's big date. All the roomies go, but Mike asks for them to sit separately, because he thinks it will be more special with just the two of them. Vinny can't believe he's going to be witness to this monumental moment: "Situation is going to be wifed up." Mike and Paula make small talk about their day, as the roomies watch and think he's sweating a little bit. Mike opens his shirt and Paula doesn't say anything. Ron says she just sits there and says nothing, and then he says he didn't even know she could read. I mean, that's fair. I thought maybe she had a vision or perhaps a comprehension problem, given that she's stuck around this long. Mike asks what she thinks and MTV cuts to commercial. SUSPENSE. Speaking of commercials, I actually want to see Catfish. I mean, the movie was good. And it looks like it could make for some genuinely happy and horrifying moments.

After the break, Paula accepts Mike's offer and gives him a hug. Mike obnoxiously interviews that hearts are breaking across America because The Situation's off the market. Vinny says Mike and Paula are perfect for each other, because they are both space cadets, say the stupidest shit ever and have the attention span of a goldfish. Ah, romance. He asks her about her lip ring, which she says has been there since he met her. He tells her they've come a long way and she says she can't imagine being with anyone else. Then she says she wants a house, a puppy, kids and marriage. He's like, "WTF, girl. Chill." He tells her she's thinking too far ahead and she's like, "Obviously. I'm not giving you my ovulation schedule or anything." Mike calls for the check, which is hilarious. They leave Rivoli's, which has a big "Ron Ron Juice" sign under it. Ron says now the fighting will start and he's basically right. As soon as they get back to the house, Paula wants to go in the Smoosh room, and tells the whole house they're going to have sex. So Mike isn't feeling it -- he says she's either too excited or has no filter -- and tells her he wants to sleep in his own bed. They actually just go to sleep.

Next morning, Jenni's had a sleepless night because she hasn't talked to Roger in four days and is worrying about what he's thinking and why he isn't calling; are they done? She calls him and gets his voicemail. She leaves a message that she's upset about what happened, but she loves him. She tries to go back to bed, because she's anxious. Paula gets up and they kiss each other goodbye. Mike's boxing trainer comes over, and he fills him in on how crazy she went after finding out they were official. He compares her to a cheese pizza that suddenly has pepperoni on it, and then tells the trainer he's going to chalk it up to the first-day jitters. Really? Has Mike never been in a relationship? But he says he'd be pretty excited to go out with him too.

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Jersey Shore

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