Jersey Shore
Let's Make It Official

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B | Grade It Now!
‘Everyone Goes to the Drunk Tank’

Silent close-up of quiet Duck Phone. Jenni's stressing out. Sam's like, "You called him, didn't you?" She says they just need to talk, but Jenni says he won't. She says it's to a point where she can't hide this anymore and she starts crying. She says she's the one who's supposed to be mad at him. Sam says she can be mad and he can be mad and they can work through it. Except, you know, he pushed her. (I am relieved her foot isn't broken, though.) Jenni wonders if she did something terrible that night that she can't remember. Vinny comes in and asks what's going on. The girls ask his perspective, as a guy, and Vinny says this might be the straw that broke the camel's back; it might be one too many fights for him. He always knows what to say. She cries a bunch. It just makes me mad. Jenni can't believe she doesn't even get a "Go F yourself" call after two years. Ron tells Jenni to let him settle down. Sam says, "Listen, I punched Ron in the face. He destroyed my room. Like, shit happens. You work through it." That's right, ladies and gentlemen. This is our example of a "functional" couple on this show. Ron says Roger's 49 years old. Everyone chuckles, but is he joking? I mean, I don't disbelieve that.

Jenni goes to call Roger again and he answers. He starts yelling at her immediately, because he wonders if she doesn't need attention on her crutches. He tells her the biggest fight he had was with her, grabbing him by the throat and then throwing a drink in his face. Then he asks why she was yelling "Fight, fight, fight" in his ear if she then wanted to stop him from fighting. She sort of explains that she wanted him to help his friends, but not fight and she was trying to calm him down. He says if she thinks throwing a drink in his face will calm him down, she doesn't know him at all and they're going nowhere. She interviews that it scared her that he was this mad and not apologizing at all. So she tells him she doesn't know where they're at. He tells her to have her fun this summer, because she moves away to live with her friends every few months anyway. He says at her age it's okay to live it up, but he's worked too hard for what he has. I feel like there must be some deep-seated fights here about how she leaves to go make money by partying and he resents it. Which I do get. And I think that she probably was instigating the fighting, then trying to stop him. I do not think it justifies him pushing her at all, but I feel a tiny bit less livid about it now that I know more and now that her foot isn't broken (although she does tell him it is fractured, which is funny). She's like, "So this is it?" And that's the end. So, their relationship is the big cliffhanger. I guess we'll pretend to care.

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Jersey Shore




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