That night, Pauly gives Deena bracelet he bought her as sort of an olive branch. Everyone heads out and the night starts off strong. Says Vinny, "We're poppin' bottles, we're fist pumping... and it's kind of feeling like we're in Jersey again." Oh, kids. You break my heart. You're in effing Italy, and all you want is the feeling of some trashbag club in Jersey. Pauly does notice one difference, though: The girls are practically still in playpens. Since the drinking age in Italy is anywhere from "None" to 16, he thinks it's imperative to check his tricks' IDs.

The deeper into the party they get, the harder Sammi finds it to stay fun. Eventually, she gets so wasted that she falls over and asks Ronnie to have a talk. Yes. In that order. With sufficient distance from the Ron Ron Juice, even Ronnie knows it's a bad idea. Of course he's super-aggressive and dickish about it. But Sammi won't be dissuaded, so Ronnie eventually has to physically run away through the crowd. A bit later, everyone decides to call it a night. Deena gets stuck in a cab with Sammi, who boo-hoos about missing Ronnie, while the guys walk home doing a statutory rape riff on "You might be a redneck if..." And the kicker? Pauly goes there with the man-boy love punch line. Oh, Pauly.

They get home. Sitch booty calls Britney. Pauly and Vinny go to bed. Deena sulks that Pauly won't get it in. And Sammi decides to reignite the flame with Ronnie as he eats what appears to be balsamic-roasted eggplant covered in ketchup. Yuck. She leans on his shoulder and tells him she misses and loves him and wants to cuddle. Ronnie admits that he still has some feelings for Sam. That said, he'd rather be F-ed in the A with spiked bat than relive the drama that went down in Jersey. He gets up and away from her, totally brushing off the fact that she just put herself out there.

Next week: Deena is on a mission to find a man... then happens upon a lady... whom Sitch is pursuing. Snooki severs ties with Sitch after he kisses and tells about their hook-up.