Jersey Shore
Like More Than a Friend

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Don't Smush Where You Eat

The crew decides to head home. Highlights along the way: Ronnie is bragging to JWOWW about calling "sweet... sugar... Hannah?!" and does a face plant. Somewhere else along the route, Deena is slurring about wanting to hook up with some guy, then points out into the distance -- at a cop! -- and asks, "Is that him?" Sammi, her unfortunate other half in tonight's buddy system, has to shush her with the dire warning, "Public intoxication! Stop!" Deena pipes down for just long enough to get past the carabinieri, then protests, "I love you, but I'M! FINE!" She struggles to get up on the curb, attracting the cop's attention once more. Luckily, they're just a few more stagger-steps away from home. She gets into the house and down she goes!

Sitch retires to his room with Britney while Snooki eats directly from a pork leg that is almost as big as her, dropping prosciutto out of her mouth as she snarls, "She's so ugly." Vinny wonders why she's acting jealous, but Snooki brushes it off. Over la camera di smush room, Sitch gets a blowpop. Girlfriend has barely wiped off her mouth before Sitch offers to order her a taxi. Elegance. Everyone makes a big production of saying arrivederci as Britney shame-scampers out after what I can only guess is about 15 minutes. Snooki: "Toodles, whore." JWOWW: "Hope I never see you again!"

Snooki heads out for a smoke break with Sitch and proceeds to ream him out for hooking up with an ugly chick (her judgment, not mine, BTW). Sitch tries to sweet talk Snooki, telling her he would have gone home with her but that she "just not somebody to take home." They agree that they're really close and care about each other more than friends. He says he's grown to love her personality and love her as a person. She puts the brakes on: "You know that we're just really good friends, right? And that's it." He thinks she isn't telling the truth and that there's a spark between them, but she sticks to her guns. Is this really an appropriate conversation to be having, like, five minutes after you just got all the goods from another chick?

The next day, everyone but Ronnie and Snooki head out for laundry and food. Vinny tells Sammi he won't have any more of her Ronnie drama. In her own defense, Sammi says she's avoided the fight and went to bed. Vinny congratulates her on that. The group consensus is that Sammi and Ronnie need to stop sticking their noses in each other's business. Sammi says she's doing the best she can. Everyone is ready to move on to the next topic, so of course The Situation starts talking about how Ronnie claimed he was going to bring five girls home. Sammi looks at him with a look of pure hatred before she realizes she needs to rein it in and act nonchalant.

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Jersey Shore

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