Jersey Shore
Like More Than a Friend

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Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
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Don't Smush Where You Eat

They head back home as night falls, and Ronnie and Vinny decide to take a romantic dip in the hot tub. That hot tub that lights up in the colors of the rainbow, if you know what I'm saying. A bit later, it's bed time. Sitch weirdly piles into Deena's bed and attempts to cuddle with her for about 13 seconds before she gets uncomfortable and rolls out, claiming she needs to go smoke.

The next evening as they get ready to head out, Deena relates the weirdness to her roommates. They leave the house and head to a rooftop bar where Snooki shouts, "I love Rome! I mean Italy!" And the roommates admire "The Vatican" some more, wherein Ronnie claims that Leonardo da Vinci painted the Sistine Chapel. Vinny: "I'm pretty sure it was Michelangelo." Once they've teased Ronnie a little, Pauly moves on to Sitch, using Deena's story as ammunition. Things get awkward, and Sitch is all, "Just so you know, I don't want you." Say it again kid: Sbruffone. That comment might even get an upgrade to stronzo. Deena feels especially betrayed by Pauly for selling her out. Snooki thinks Pauly should be smart enough to realize that it'll hurt a little extra if Pauly turns on her like that. For his part, Pauly thinks it's no big deal. The gang decides to do a shot and move on.

That night, Pauly gives Deena bracelet he bought her as sort of an olive branch. Everyone heads out and the night starts off strong. Says Vinny, "We're poppin' bottles, we're fist pumping... and it's kind of feeling like we're in Jersey again." Oh, kids. You break my heart. You're in effing Italy, and all you want is the feeling of some trashbag club in Jersey. Pauly does notice one difference, though: The girls are practically still in playpens. Since the drinking age in Italy is anywhere from "None" to 16, he thinks it's imperative to check his tricks' IDs.

The deeper into the party they get, the harder Sammi finds it to stay fun. Eventually, she gets so wasted that she falls over and asks Ronnie to have a talk. Yes. In that order. With sufficient distance from the Ron Ron Juice, even Ronnie knows it's a bad idea. Of course he's super-aggressive and dickish about it. But Sammi won't be dissuaded, so Ronnie eventually has to physically run away through the crowd. A bit later, everyone decides to call it a night. Deena gets stuck in a cab with Sammi, who boo-hoos about missing Ronnie, while the guys walk home doing a statutory rape riff on "You might be a redneck if..." And the kicker? Pauly goes there with the man-boy love punch line. Oh, Pauly.

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Jersey Shore

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