Meanwhile, JWOWW drives Snooki to the doctor. Wait? She hasn't gotten that UTI sorted out yet? I'd be freaked out, if I didn't remember that she "cleaned" her addled vagina with body spray and slept in a bed she peed in. Silver lining: Snooki probably has a much more resilient immune system than the rest of us. Silver lining: Snooki doesn't have rectal bleeding... yet. Dark cloud: She should lay off the booze on her antibiotics. She vows to only have one drink. Probably "one" of those glasses that holds an entire bottle of wine -- except filled with tequila.
Back on the Boardwalk, Deena gets an airbrush tattoo sleeve. She heads back to the Shore Store, where they have cake. Ronnie tells her it has a weird smell, so she leans in to Danny's plate. He smashes the cake in her face. Nailed it!
Sitch heads to the Shore Store for work, noting that Snooki and JWOWW are M.I.A. He makes a point of tattling to Danny as if it will make Danny suddenly forget that Sitch literally sleeps on the job at every shift. Danny does get rather riled up about Snooki's seemingly insincere apology. He calls the house, and Vinny tells him the gory details about Little Snooki. Danny pretty immediately shuts down at the news of lady problems but does express irritation that he didn't even get a phone call.
Snooki realizes as they walk into the store an hour late that she should have called Danny. She knows he's going to take it out on her. And so he does, telling the girls to cart a truckload of boxes to the shed and handing them a bottle of Windex to clean the display case. Snooki deems it "abuse." The actual abuse victims of the world would be laughing... if they weren't crying. A bit later, Sitch starts to groan about being tired. JWOWW asks him if maybe he's bogged down by carbs and chocolate icing. Sitch insists he didn't eat the cake and decries the kangaroo court that has convicted him. In an interview, he says, "Did I eat the cake? Holy shit did I eat the cake!" I think there might be a little creative editing going on here because the way he says it doesn't contain the usual villainous glee. More like a sarcastic irritation with his roommates' judgment. Or maybe I've finally been flipped to Sitch's Side (not to be confused with Jenna's Side).
Indeed, I was right! At home, Pauly grabs Deena up in his arms and rocks her around as he mischievously admits he ate the cake. Cut to film footage as proof. Meanwhile, I want Pauly to eat my cake so he'll wrap me up in his tacky tattooed arms like that. And by "eat my cake," I do indeed mean eat my cake. Hubba hubba. Deena feels bad she jumped to the Situation and has to admit that, in this case, his lunatic paranoia is founded. She admits as much to him and apologizes for blaming him, so what does he do? Throw it in her face and continue to rant about how "good" he's been these last few weeks. Oh yeah, and he's on a diet. He's very insistent he's on a diet. Meanwhile, who would go on a diet while filming this show? It's like vowing celibacy right before you join a sex colony. Anyway, Sitch says (for the seven trillionth time) that he only gets attention when he's being bad, so "Mean Mike" might as well come out. Are they just looping this same clip into every episode, or did they really get him to say this same bullshit line over and over again? From my scattered, vague recollections, I feel like he's worn several different shirts while making this statement. Maybe they just had him change in rapid-fire and repeat the same mission statement over and over again? I won't lie, though, if I were getting 100 grand an ep, I would say them in a box. I would say them with a fox. I would say them in a house, I would say them with a mouse. I would say them here or there. I would say them anywhere.