Pauly calls in a Shore Store order to Vinny to make a "Let's Make It Unofficial" T-shirt to surprise Mike with after work. Ron makes one that says "G.T.B." for Gym, Tan, Breakup with Paula. Jenni thinks the T-shirt is awful, but Vinny thinks it's hilarious to give to Mike since it was stupid of Mike to make one in the first place. Back at the house, Mike's filling the girls in on how Paula confronted him. Deena wonders if he said no or was like, "Eh." He says he was more like, "Eh." Then Deena tells him his problem was telling everyone. She thinks maybe he wanted it to get back to her. The gang comes in and shows Mike the shirts. Jenni wonders if Mike will be able to go tanning after today and he says he will because he feels they can get past this. The guys and Jenni head out for G.T.L.B. But he doesn't wear either of the T-shirts. See? Classy.
On the way to the tanning salon, there is a debate about whether to tan first or break up first. They decide tanning, because if you break up first, you might not be able to tan. Vinny says it takes a whole squad of Guido goons to help Mike break up with Paula. Pauly and Vinny aren't even tanning. They're just sitting on the waiting room couch waiting to watch the breakup. They even brought candy. And Ronnie is wearing the "G.T.B." T-shirt, by the way. Mike comes out of tanning and is at a loss for what to say. Paula apologizes for being too emotional and Mike says it's okay and he cares about her. Pauly tells Vinny if this doesn't get more interesting, he wants his money back. So, Mike does actually break up with her -- he tells her that he thinks they should go back to how things were before -- then they kiss and everything is okay. Pauly totally wants his money back. Ron says this is nothing like him and Sam, because all Paula and Mike did was kiss the whole time. When they leave, the guys are like, "I've never seen someone break up and make out so much." Mike: "I'm very good at speaking with people." When Jenni joins them, she asks what she missed and Ron's like, "Nothing good. They hugged. They kissed. Said, 'I'll see you tonight.' " Pauly says he did dump her though. Jenni says it was the corniest, easiest breakup ever. They all high-five about it being MVP again. And that's the end.
Next week: Baby shower! And Angelina!
DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, was actually impressed at Mike's breakup. You can contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.