Since they had to get up early, the meatballs decide to make the most of their day and go to the gym. They get into the car and embark on what will become a harrowing journey. After many close calls with kamikaze cyclists, the collision we all knew was coming finally occurs. It's just like Season One, except replace a fist with a Fiat and Snooki's face with an Italian police car. Only this time, there's no blackout (which is more than we can say for two nights ago, hey-oh!).
Afraid that she'll go to jail again, Snooki tells Deena to call the guys to bring her license. To their credit, the guys don't blink before grabbing the license and jumping into the car. Unfortunately, they get stuck in traffic while Snooki has a panic attack watching the ambulance arrive to put one of the policemen onto a stretcher. Oh, please. The neck support is hardly necessary. It was a fender bender at worst -- not like one of them rammed his head into a concrete wall.
With the guys still en route, the police have Snooki take a Breathalyzer. When they tell her to come with them, she can't hold back the tears anymore. Begging them to wait, she says frantically, "I don't ever want to go in the back of a cop car again. Please!" The guys finally arrive and run to the car, but it's a split-second too late. Vinny worries, "If Nicole is locked up, they might kick us out of Italy." Cue card: "JAIL TIME."
Next week: Spoiler alert! The kids don't get kicked out of Italy, but Jionni does get let in. Which means the theatrics we've been enjoying over the phone now have a Napoleonic manifestation when Snooki gets her cuca dancing on at il club. Also, Brittany comes a-knockin', giving Snooki the chance to expose Sitch when he brings another girl home that same night.