Jersey Shore
Merp Walk

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DeAnn Welker: C- | Grade It Now!
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So Much For Feminism

Next morning, everyone's still in bed when Snooki gets up to head over and visit them. That is right: Snooki is the first one awake. The world is insane. Oh, and Jenni's limping, and she fills Snooki in on her boyfriend pushing her. Snooki: "Shut up." Dare I hope she'll be the good friend who will tell Jenni that this is so not okay? But she doesn't say much so far. She just wants to get Jenni to the doctor to check out her hurt ankle. Because, you know, she can't go out with a hurt foot. In the car on the way, Jenni says she's angry he didn't apologize, and Snooki's like, "Maybe it was the adrenaline." So, yeah, she's not so much going to be the feminist we all need. Ron and Sam end up in a fight about this, because he is taking Roger's side: A girl should be nowhere near a brawl, because if she gets hit by a guy, it's over. Sam says that the girls want to protect their guys from fighting. I don't disagree, really, that Jenni shouldn't have jumped in the middle of a crazy fight. BUT that does not justify him pushing her. Ever. Nothing does. The end. (I wish.)

As they walk to the doctor, Snooki tells JWOWW she looks like her, all drunk and hung-over and in pain. And she interviews that she knows Jenni can be a little dramatic, but since she's been taking care of her for years, she's going to return the favor. At the doctor, Snooki secretly hopes Jenni gets hurt so she'll have a non-partying friend. She goes in for an X-ray and they ask if there's any chance she's pregnant. Snooki: "No. She doesn't have sex." Which is the running joke of this season, apparently. Meanwhile, Snooki measure her height in the hall, and finds she has shrunk from 4'9" to 4'8". She's devastated, and Jenni fills us in that Nicole could totally qualify for disability now that she's that short. Jenni gets the news that she has a navicular fracture. (I had to look up the word "navicular" to find out how to spell it. Who would have thought there'd ever be a word I couldn't spell on this show? I feel bad about myself.) Anyway, she screams and laughs like she can't believe this is happening to her. Because she's just become the girl whose boyfriend broke her bone. On television.

Snooki cheers a little bit that she has a disabled friend to hang out with. They're going to make her a custom splint for now, and she might ultimately need a cast. Snooki asks for a note from the doctor because all of the roomies are going to think she's exaggerating if she doesn't have proof. Jenni says her summer at Seaside on crutches is going to be super fun, and she might need surgery (which I didn't hear the doctor say, so she might actually be exaggerating). Now she's decided she won't call Roger, because she's mad she's the one on crutches.

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Jersey Shore

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