Jersey Shore
No Shame, Good Integrity

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: C | Grade It Now!
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And Now For Celibacy

Vinny and Mike hang out on the boardwalk, and Vinny asks about Mike's experience. They basically feel like they are on the same agenda, with Mike's sobriety and Vinny's anxiety: They both have to live in the moment to keep the dark stuff away. Mike says that Vinny connects with him on a level that's not GTL. What?! Is there something deeper than GTL for these fools?

Deena and JWOWW start drinking mid-day and Deena is thrilled she might have found her substitute meatball. Then JWOWW stumps Deena by using the word integrity. Basically, Deena thinks both "shame" and "integrity" mean the same thing. Jenni just laughs and lets Deena try to work it out in her head. She still hasn't worked it out in her camera interview later. She says it's very confusing. JWOWW asks the bartender if she knows what it is, and the bartender says it's, like, self-worth. Deena's like, "Like shame?" But, no. Deena thinks she gets it and then says you can go to school at a bar. Sam and Snooki walk toward the other girls, and Snooki says she's going to be pissed if Jenni drank with Deena because she would never do that mid-day with her. The suspense is building as they get closer to discovering she is drinking, so it's a good time for a commercial. MTV is really keeping us watching with these riveting, suspense-filled cuts to commercial.

Sunday dinner. Mike and Vinny are making a feast. Vinny says, "Pauly sets the table and just yells out random shit. That's what he considers cooking." Sam watches them cook and asks if they put the chicken back on the same pan they put it in when it was raw. Mike says these girls aren't going to become cooks after four summers. She asks more questions and Vinny tells her the answer is obvious. She gets mad about it, but I feel asleep while trying to care.

Dinner. Mike burns himself on a hot dish. They decide to tell stories, so JWOWW asks what it was like when they first had sex. Three of them first had sex in their car. Pauly and Mike are among them, so they fist-bump about it. Vinny says he's going to be celibate, and... crickets. Then Pauly says that's stupid. Vinny says he set a personal goal for himself. He can hang out with girls, but no sex. Then we find out Vinny masturbated in the shower that morning. Which we really don't need to know. Snooki tells them she has an announcement and Pauly's like, "What big announcement could she have? She's pregnant." She tells them she's thinking of getting her own place. Everyone looks serious, so we go to a commercial.

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Jersey Shore

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