At any rate, they hit up da club. Angelina meets a fellow (who -- spoiler! -- she totally blue balls later). Sitch gets lots of ab rubbin' until he finds a girl worthy to take home. What is The Situation's type, you might ask? Well, massive knockers to start, blonde hair, and smart enough to "go to college" (not necessarily graduate, mind you). I would have thought this one would have fit into the chicken cutlet-dropping grenade category myself, but I'm not Sitch, so what do I know? The rest of the roommates arrive back home, and Sitch leaves his flavor du jour back in the bedroom while he full-on knife-and-fork carboloads pre-smushing. Sitch pounds her out, then emerges. "Already?" asks Ronnie. And you know that is not a good sign. Sitch explains that he's mere moments away from kicking that trick out. He heads back into the bedroom, where he tries to act as smooth and caring as possible, all the while saying in as many ways as possible "Please leave." Minutes later, she click-clacks her busty self outta there. She is barely out the door before Sitch breaks his end-zone dance out and pronounces, "And that's how you get 'em out!" Ronnie snickers. Everyone's a dick here, don't get me wrong, but that goes double for Ronnie. He is vile.
The next morning, Sammi and Ronnie wake up together. Seriously? I guess she's working on the rule that it doesn't count if you've already been there. The other girls wake up and remember they've promised the boys they'd make family dinner. Snooki consults with a professional chef ex-boyfriend, and they decide on penne alla vodka. They get about two steps into the grocery store before Snooki gets distracted by a jar of pickles and loses the grocery list. Meanwhile, the guys eat a big lunch and anticipate what a mess the girls' attempt at cooking will be. This is the only time I will give them credit for wisdom or foresight. Write this shit down in the books.
Back at the house, JWOWW is in a particularly prickly mood when she arrives home from "shopping for four hours." What the Hell did they buy? Ain't nothin' in penne alla vodka that takes four hours of shopping. While they cook, Sammi is her usual bitchy self and offers little to no help with the cooking, even though -- according to JWOWW -- she was the one who first came up with the idea of the girls cooking. Regardless, they manage to prepare the food without any incident (unless you consider briefly setting the counter on fire an incident). Sammi makes a point in not eating any of JWOWW's food. Because she's a stupid bitch. I don't know how else to cushion that information at this point, y'all.