Snooki decides they need to celebrate Vinny being back with some good old-fashioned day drinking. She hopes the whole group will participate, which mainly means she doesn't want The Situation to slip off like he always does. The kids get ready, though there are some notable takeaways. 1.) Pauly (in a DayGlo yellow baseball cap, mind you) looks at himself in the mirror, then at the camera, and says, "If you look up 'Too Much Swag' in the dictionary, you'll see a big old picture of my face." 2.) Deena sits on top of Snooki's breasts and bounces up and down. Just a snapshot of the day-to-day at 1209 Ocean Terrace.

JWOWW calls Roger again. He does not answer. Again. Snooki remembers peeing herself the night before and decides to take defensive measures today and puts booty shorts on top of her thong. Because if you're going to wet yourself, you really want to get as much fabric up in there as possible, I guess? Or perhaps in only the thong, she feared it would be more likely to suffer the same fate as her blonde doppelganger.

Giving credence to my earlier speculation, when Sitch offers to spray Ronnie with some Bod spray (as conscientious bros are wont to do), Ronnie immediately heads down to the confessional to ask, "What is he up to? And when is he going to blow up the house?" It would have been better for him to ask these questions to actual producers, but... baby steps... Then he goes upstairs and says this exact same thing to The Situation. Because it's always a great idea to confront a suspected terrorist (Ronnie's word, not mine) and let him know you're on to his plots. For his part, Sitchy claims he knows how hated he was in Italy and only wants people to like him. What's the guido equivalent of the world's smallest violin? The world's quietest grenade whistle?