Jersey Shore
Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | 301 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
No Chain, No Gain

That night, Pauly's sunburn saga continues. Apparently he got so excited to be back in the land of plenty (of tanning beds) that he crispified his face, exfoliated off the peeling bits, then fried the shit out of the raw skin underneath. Now he's resorting to planting himself in front of the air conditioning vent and applying ice pops to his face to relieve the pain. Quoth Snooki, "I never thought in my wildest dreams I would tell somebody to stop tanning. That's when you know the world is coming to an end." Oh, I feel so bad for you people. Welcome to my damn world.

The sweet sound of a blender whirs us into the next scene. It's Ron Ron Juice, and you know what that means. Karma! Deena is so excited she might just dance her underwears off! While she gives Pauly a pep talk, assuring him that he'll still get it in despite the game-hampering sun burn, Snooki gets herself looking bangable by slapping on a pair of personalized "Jionni's" panties she had made. She shows them off to JWOWW, who immediately points out that the epic fight between Snooki and Jionni in Florence was over her flashing her downstairs region. Snooki realizes she won't be able to resist showing off the name-check knickers and decides to save herself by putting them aside for another occasion.

Deena comes in the room so she and Snooki can beautify themselves together. Deena starts prattling about finding a boy to make out with, though she vows not to "do sex." Somewhere amid the conversation, she tells Snooki that she's not going to be drinking that night. If someone were watching this without sound and saw Snooki's reaction shot, they could very well think Deena just declared, "I eat babies while kicking puppies." That's how vile and dire this idea is to Snooki. Deena can only hold her composure for about 2.4 seconds before breaking up into hysterics. Of course she's drinking!

Jersey Shore

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