The stage is set, the lights are dimmed, and Mike's upstairs as the music begins. Mike explains the mental checklist he's going through right now: "Abs? Check. Green eyes? Double-check. Biceps, like almost 18s? Check. It's go time." Pauly introduces Vito Dorado, who comes down in his boxer robe and outfit. He starts dancing awkwardly, and no one can really believe this is happening. Their smoke alarm starts going off as he strips in Jenni's face and gives her a lap dance. She is cracking up, and so is he and pretty much everyone else. Ron says Mike is actually the worst stripper he's ever seen in his life. And Ron's seen a lot of male strippers, I guess. Jenni thinks the whole thing was hysterical. Pauly says he's starting to not believe Mike used to do this for a living because he would at least be decent at it. Mike has Jenni get up, and then he flips her upside down. Snooki says if she was Jenni and Mike's face was in her crotch, she'd probably fart in his face. But, at the same time, she's proud he did it, and it was a good effort.
Next week: They're going to have a big farewell party on the beach. Sam wants her dad and Ron to get along. Paula sends a cake, and they find out that the frosting wasn't actually frosting. After they ate the whole thing. Then everybody cries as they say goodbye to this show. Except, you know, the viewers. See you then.
DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, could not bring herself to watch Best of the Reunions because those things are bad enough the first time. You can contact her at email@example.com.