Jersey Shore

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Remembrance of Things Smashed

More clips show JWOWW rolling her eyes and both Sitch and Angelina judging the shit out of these assholes. When Angelina and The Situation are in a rightful place of judgment, then SamRo2.0, you in danger, y'all. They finish the clip. Sammi appears to wipe a tear away from her eye. Really now? Snooki continues to roll her eyes at this farce as Ronnie admits that he did "a lot of messed up things" in Miami. Sammi trites, "No relationship is perfect, and ours definitely isn't!" It's such a charade because, this time last year, he dropped her ass like a hot potato for just having a conversation with Sitch when they weren't even together. But if he's hooking up with six girls at a time and then crawling into bed with her the next morning, that's aces! Ugh. Sammi, get some self worth, honey!

Julissa asks the housemates if they think SamRo2.0 fight more than most couples. Sitch happily jumps in, saying they do and that they pulled their roommates into the drama much of the time. An argument kicks up between Ronnie and him. It goes on for a little while with essentially no point, and ultimately they're both right and they're both wrong. Sure, Sitch and Co. didn't need to revel in the drama as much as they did, but Sammi and Ronnie weren't exactly keeping their shenanigans to themselves. This is the stuff of junior high -- but with coke and 'roids and cigarettes and sexual promiscuity. Well, I guess they probably have that in junior high these days, too. Those darn kids!

Julissa asks, "How much more of this love can you take?" Snooki blurts out, "I'm fuckin' done with it! I'm over it! Done." JWOWW says she said her piece through the (anonymous) letter. Vinny takes the only position of sanity and common sense, telling the couple that if they actually love each other, maybe they should start acting, oh, I don't know, loving toward one another. Sammi looks particularly shamed by the dressing down, though it might also be defensive and/or indignant. It's times like these when I think maybe she's taking it all in, maybe the wheels in her head are turning. Then I remember that exceptionally stupid people can't register emotional nuance very well. It's a toss-up, really.

Now on to the subject of the letter. Julissa introduces the rehash package as such: "If you ever feel the need to tell your friend that her boyfriend is motorboating the cocktail waitress..." Classic. You remember the highlights -- Sammi begging for clues that Ronnie was fucking her over, the girls digging up dirty from Angelina, the internet cafe typing, the denials, the weave-pulling, the dissolution of friendships, etc. Snooki is reclined on the couch, having clearly dissociated herself from this assbaggery. Julissa calls JWOWW to the couch for further discussion. JWOWW explains that they wrote the letter because they felt it was "girl code" -- and because Sammi was asking them to tell her. Why is it that, even now, the fact that Sammi requested the information does not nullify their entire bust-up?

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Jersey Shore

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